


Resist

by Chibirini1



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Character Death, Evil Snoke, F/M, Falling In Love, First Time, Loss of Virginity, Love/Hate, Morning After, POV Third Person, Please Don't Hate Me, Slow Burn, Snoke Being a Dick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-16
Updated: 2017-01-14
Packaged: 2018-08-31 08:30:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 25,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8571523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chibirini1/pseuds/Chibirini1
Summary: The Resistance has fallen and a deal has been struck: Rey must marry Kylo Ren. With all of her friends dead or imprisoned and Snoke watching over them both as Emperor, she accidentally makes an ally of her worst enemy.





	1. Chapter 1

The day she married Kylo Ren was the day the First Order was reborn. It was the New Empire instead, indeed ruled by a lone, powerful Emperor. Snoke. And just below him, his heir. Ren.

 And now, Rey. His wife. Consort. Future Empress.

It had shocked the Resistance—or rather, what remained of it—when Snoke had offered this “compromise.” Luke, imprisoned. Leia, exiled. And Rey, married.

Leia had been the least surprised. “He must win over the people now that he has crushed them,” she explained, looking at Rey with a look she had never seen before. “And now it is his choice of what to do with the last pieces on the board.”

Luke left the choice up to Leia. And after a long, endless night of strategizing, plotting, and considering, she left the choice up to Rey.

“Anything else we try will only destroy our cause’s resources. We must have something left to fight another day. But I won’t make that decision, not when it is you who is most affected,” the general told her, sitting on Rey’s own bed. She had Rey’s hand in her own as Rey looked upon her, stunned by the whole thing. Why, why her?

“You are the biggest threat to Kylo Ren and the First Order.” Leia said, seeing the confusion in Rey’s eyes. “It only makes sense for them to want to keep you close.”

“But…marriage?” Rey asked, throat dry.

Leia sighed. “A union, of one hated and one beloved of the people…it would basically place you on their side. And a child, born of such a union…that is something Snoke probably wants the most.”

“A child?” Rey couldn’t keep the horror off her face. She and Kylo Ren had met countless times in battle since that fateful day on Starkiller. There was something in the force that naturally crackled between them, but Rey thought it was fear and anger, maybe even hatred. How could she marry, how could she sleep with such a man whose blows had left scars on her body? Who she assumed hated her, body and soul?

Once upon a time, even before BB-8 and Finn and Han and the Resistance, Rey had dreamed of loving someone. Of being loved back. If she ever did give herself to someone, it would be because of love. Had that just been her own fanciful dreaming? Was it too much to want?

“It’s your choice, Rey.” Leia said. “You are like my own daughter. I…I wish that there was an option here that would allow you some happiness.”

Rey shook her head. “Can we not flee?”

Leia looked her deep in the eyes and then shook her head slowly. “We are surrounded. They sent the message straight here. They know where we are.”

Rey let herself cry that night after she made her decision. She wouldn’t watch her friends die. But she vowed never to cry again.

And she didn’t cry. Not as they led Luke away in handcuffs. Not as they locked Poe and Finn and Chewie up. Not as Leia kissed her goodbye, her one-way shuttle destined for the Outer Rim.

“You’re never alone,” she promised. “And now you shall truly be my daughter.”

Rey’s lips had parted in surprise. It was so easy to forget that the Jedi-Killer, Knight of the First Order was the cool General’s son. She hadn’t realized what the marriage had meant in that regard. Leia squeezed her hand as a last goodbye and then was gone.

~

She was taken into custody and held in a glorified prison cell for weeks. She grew pale and restless, but the second week she was given two gifts: a date of her marriage, and an old friend. BB-8.

She had wrapped her arms around the round droid and tried to swallow the lump in her front. BB-8 squeals and squeaks of happiness were so loud that they hurt her ears, but she was so grateful to see a familiar face. Possibly the only one that wasn’t imprisoned.

“Why, how did you--?”

“Lord Ren had him released into your care.” The trooper said shortly. “And to tell you that your wedding date is in seven days.”

“Why doesn’t he grace me with his presence then?” She asked haughtily, but the trooper left with no more words.

 _“They took my tools out,_ ” BB-8 said sadly.

“it’s alright,” Rey soothed. “They probably just thought they could be used to break out of here.”

 _“They’d be right,”_ BB-8 beeped mischievously, and Rey laughed for the first time in ages.

It was so unusual for Ren to do something…kind. There had to be some other motive. But then again, how would Rey know how he usually acted? She curled up her knees to her chest while sitting on the floor by BB-8. She didn’t know him at all, nor had seen hide or hair of him.

BB-8 asked her if she was sad, and Rey shrugged and tried to feign a smile. “Better now that you’re here.”

He stayed the right in one of her bunched up blankets, and for once she didn’t feel so lonely. But now that she knew that in seven days, it was all to be over, that she would have to be forever bonded to a man she hated.

~

Her wedding day begun like any other. Breakfast was delivered to her via a slot in the wall. She had a sanisteam and dressed in the plain, nondescript garments that came from the slot as well. She chatted with BB-8 and he helped her with her work-out routine. But it was interrupted by a certain Captain Phasma, the woman who had brought her here and oversaw the imprisonment of her friends.

She was brought to a ship—with BB-8 rolling alongside her—and delivered to a whole new planet. One that wasn’t too far though, but she wasn’t used to the Core Worlds and didn’t have a very good map in her head. No one told her where she was going or even mentioned that she was getting married, which was fine by her. She didn’t need to be reminded that her life as she knew it was ending.

She was dressed in a dark grey dress by a few silent women who wouldn’t answer her polite inquiries. They tried to do her hair but she pushed their quiet fingers away.

“I do it myself,” she said crossly. She may have to wear this stupid, confining dress, but she wanted to look like herself in the mirror. They waited until she was done and then left her alone with BB-8.

“Did you see anything we could use as a weapon?” She asked.

He beeped a sad no.

While she waited she glanced at the full length mirror in the large room. The dress was high collared and tight, with loose sleeves that were bunched at her elbows. A long, full skirt covered even her toes. She felt ridiculous.

“Find me something, anything sharp,” she instructed BB-8. He raced around the room as she tried to find a loose panel in the metal wall. Finally BB-8 wheeled over to her with a small piece of metal, She bent it until it snapped into a jagged edge.

“Perfect.”

With it, she cut a notch and then tore the stiff collar and then half the sleeves. She was working on shortening the skirt when a woman came to fetch her. When she saw what had been done to the dress, the woman gasped and then fled.

Rey went back to her task until the door burst open a few minutes later.

“What are you doing?” Kylo Ren thundered.

Rey took him in quickly. He looked no different than usual. Marred mask, stiff black clothes. Why did she have to wear something so ridiculously formal?

“I’m adjusting this gown,” she said with feigned politeness. “Lovely to see you.”

Ren stomped over to her and grabbed her by the arm, forcing her to let go of her little razor. “Why are you so difficult? Why couldn’t you just wear the damn thing?”

“I think it’s fine for me to have at least some control over my life right now, thanks,” she spit, wrestling her arm away from him. She couldn’t believe the situation. The last time she had seen Kylo Ren, he had been trying to plunge his saber through her. Now they were arguing over a dress. How times changed.

“Fine. I don’t care how you look,” he growled. “As long as I don’t have to drag you by your hair to the altar.”

“What a lovely picture you paint,” she snapped. “Unfortunately I have better sense and can walk myself there.”

“Perfect.”

“Good.”

They glared at each other before he stalked off, presumably to said altar. Rey sighed, biting her lip to keep from yelling something childish after him.

The woman from before wouldn’t let finish the dress, and instead led her off into the hall, to the altar. When Rey saw Ren’s back, something inside her thudded and the old fear came back. This was real. This was happening.

She went to stand beside him and didn’t hear anything that was said for the ceremony. When they turned towards each other, she was surprised to realize that his helmet was off, and there was no venom in his dark eyes. Instead he looked…sad. For a moment, Rey thought he very much looked like his mother and wondered if Leia could somehow sense this, even so very far away. Rey stared at him and he stared at her as the man before them said vows she didn’t listen to. His gaze was intense, but not at all like she had seen it before. Not since he had interrogated her had he looked so…real.

His hand touched hers and she was startled by its coldness as it slipped a ring on her finger. She took a larger ring from the magistrate and put it on his single gloveless hand. A few more words were spoken, and then their eyes met once more before he carefully tilted his head and pressed his lips to hers very softly.

Something inside her jumped alive. Her lips burned with that gentle kiss, and she felt her chest heavy. She wanted something. Like before, when they fought, she had felt this pull, but never so intensely. He eased away and they were pronounced husband and wife, but Rey was numb. She didn’t like what she had felt, it scared her more than the prospect of death.

He looked at her with cautious eyes and said her name. And then repeated it.

“Rey?”

“What?” She said, coming out of her stupor. He swallowed, and she watched his adam’s apple bob almost nervously.

“It’s time to leave.” He said flatly.

With a sweaty palm she gathered her dress and followed him closely. He led her outside the building to a flash of lights and sound as people recorded their joining. He led her to a speed pod and she ignored his hand for assistance to get in. A moment after he got into the car, they were gone.

~

“Where are we going?” She asked, realization hitting her hard, as if she had just woken up from a hard sleep. They were flying through a dark place lit only by many lights below them. Other pods raced passed them, and

“To where we will live these coming months.”

She licked her lips and tried to sit up more upright, but part of her dress was caught in the door.

“And where is here?”

He gave her a look as if she was supposed to already know. “Coruscant.”

That explained the darkness. She tried not to look afraid. But a place with no sky was no place she wanted to be. Especially since the capital was here—possibly the most tightly controlled city in the galaxy. The First Order—No, the New Empire—thrived here.

“Wait. Where’s BB-8?” She asked, panic seeping into her voice.

“He’s being brought,” Ren said shortly. “I don’t see why you need an astromech droid.”

“He’s my friend,” Rey interjected. He glanced at her.

“The only one you have left,” he commented.

“Thanks to you,” she said. He frowned.

“Thanks to _you,_ ” he said. “You and traitors and thieves and—“

“Shut up,” she snapped. “Just shut it.”

Surprisingly he did, but they arrived only a few moments after.

She was out of the pod before he was, eyeing the grand building for only a moment before dashing inside to the shock of a waiting attendant.

“Lady Rey—“

Oh that was weird. Rey scrunched up her face and tried to focus, tried to find a place where she could just go and regroup and process what had happened—

“What are you doing?” Ren asked irritatedly.

He was carrying a bag, and she swallowed dryly.

“Never trying to get away from you,” she said sarcastically, and his eyes narrowed.

“May I show you to the bedroom?” The servant asked politely. Ren stalked off in one direction, but Rey nodded.

The bedroom was a large suite with dark, red drapes that framed the large windows and even the bedframe. Dark wood of all things made up the furniture. Rey trod through the cold, tiled floors to two doors on the opposite side that opened onto a balcony that looked out onto the city. She watched with wide eyes as a few pods went by and watched the last light die from the edge of the horizon.

“Nice view.”

She whirled around to see Ren looking at her and pressed her lips together. “Yes,” she said awkwardly, not knowing what to say. She pushed past him and escaped to the refresher, where she was finally able to change into some fresh clothes that she found in a drawer. They fit very well and were tan and white, surprisingly. When she emerged, she found Ren sitting on the bed, waiting.

“Listen,” he began, voice deep even without the modulator. “I didn’t want this.”

Her lips parted as her eyes roved over him.

“I had no say in this.”

“You had more than I,” she interrupted.

He glared. “My master didn’t ask me. He told me. I obeyed him but—“

“But what?” She edged along the wall, going closer to the double doors outside. “But I should feel sorry for you?”

He scowled. “No, I’m just saying, you’re not the only one—“

“Whose life was taken away? Who watched all her friends be taken away so she could be fed to the belly of the beast?”

He looked as if he’d argue but she continued, taking a few steps forward.

“You’ve hurt me, beat me down, interrogated me, tried to _kill_ me, and I have to comply to this marriage, to you having _sex_ with me and I—“

“Now, wait,--“

“No!” She yelled. “I don’t want to wait anymore. I just want this to be over!”

She was almost there, almost about to cry, but she caught herself. Leia had told her to wait so they could fight another day. She just had to bear it all until that day would come. She had to.

“Just do it,” she finally said, and stripped off her shirt. “Just take me and be done with it so I don’t have to think about it anymore.”

His eyes were wide as they took in her skin, paler now that she had been jailed for so long from the sun. She’d grow paler still here, maybe even as pale as he.

Her hands went down to her bottoms but then froze, forcibly. She looked up to see his outstretched hand and furrowed brow.

“Stop,” he said raggedly, shoulders bunched up to his neck. “I won’t do this now.”

“Why?”

He let himself relax a little and met her curious stare. “Because I don’t take unwilling women.”

She barked out a laugh. “Don’t hold your breath for me to be willing,” she said.

He marched up to her and took her by the chin.

“I am doing this for you,” he growled. “I did this all for you. I am no more happier than you are. But I thought you’d at least appreciate me giving you a choice to wait.”

“I would have liked a choice that didn’t involve me sleeping with you,” she hissed.

He dropped her chin and she drew in a shaky breath. “Let me go,” she demanded.

He did, and finally her limbs unfroze. Carefully she watched him as she grabbed her shirt from the floor.

“How long?” She asked.

He looked at her with an intense stare for too long of a moment.

“He comes in a month,” he finally said. “He—he would know then. If we had not.”

“And then?”

“For you? One of your _friends_ wouldn’t be in prison anymore. He’d be dead.”

She drew in a breath and bit her own tongue to keep the words inside. After a minute, she asked: “And for you?”

He was silent.

“He would not be pleased,” he finally said.

She wanted to ask what that meant, but kept it to herself.

“Sleep on it,” he said when she didn’t answer, gesturing to the bed. She looked at it and shook her head and headed out to the balcony.

He followed. “When will BB-8 be here?” she asked.

“It’s here already. It’s not allowed in here.”

She scoffed and grabbed onto the edge of the roof that overhung onto the balcony.

“What are you doing??”

“Going to sleep,” she said, pulling herself onto the roof. “I want some space.” She wanted to feel and hear life again. Being in that silent, cold room she was held in had messed with her.

She found herself a nice spot on the scratchy roof and curled up there.

“Are you serious?” He said irritatedly. “If you’re trying to escape you’ll be shot down in a second.”

“I’m not,” she called back crossly. “Now leave me alone.”

Finally he did, and she sighed. Alone at last. And not even in the most uncomfortable place she’d ever slept. The cool night air drifted across her skin and the hum of the city below reminded her of one of the resistance bases. It lulled her into a dreamless sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

She was sore from the roof the next morning. She found the bedroom empty after climbing down and changed, redoing her hair as well.

She wasn’t allowed out. Ren was gone, “on business.” There was nothing in the entire place but empty rooms and silent droids that couldn’t be mind-tricked. BB-8 and her spent the day chatting and looking for anything interesting.

When he returned that night she was waiting.

“I agreed to marry you, not be imprisoned.”

He removed his cowl, not sparing her a glance. “You’re lucky you’re even alive.”

“Take off that stupid mask. I know what you look like,” she demanded, but was surprised when he did so, revealing a disdainful pout.

“This wasn’t part of the agreement,” she argued, gesturing to the entire house.

He scoffed quietly. “You are in no place to negotiate. Besides, I told you, I didn’t make this deal.”

Her brow furrowed and she crossed her arms as he took off his gloves. “Call off the soldiers.”

“And let you burn this place to the ground? No.”

“No trust in this marriage,” she said lightly, but his dark, piercing eyes fell hard on her.

“No,” he agreed. “There isn’t.”

He walked off towards the dining room and began punching in a code for food. She followed him and swallowed.

“I’m no good to you mad,” she said. BB-8, who had hidden upon Ren’s arrival, rolled out from behind the door.

“What do you want, then?” Ren asked irritably. “And why is it on?”

“ _He_ is always on, unless he puts himself on sleep mode,” She sighed. “I don’t know. I want to build a ship. I was only able to build a speeder on Jakku.”

“Why?”

“I needed the parts I collected from the old ships to trade with for food. Anything good I found went towards that.”

He gave her a sidelong glance. “How stupid do you think I am? Let you build a ship so you can fly off?”

She slammed her hand onto the table. “I agreed to this goddamn deal too, ok? You think I’d risk my friends lives just to save my own skin?”

His eyes met hers for a long moment. “No,” he said quietly. “I guess you wouldn’t.”

She let out a held breath, surprised at his intensity. The food bell rang, indicating it’s arrival and she jumped.

“Just get me something to do,” she ordered and hurried away, trying to push away the feeling she had when he stared at her like that.

~

That night she was already in the bed when he came in.

“Sociable,” he remarked, cocking his head at her huddled spot at the edge.

“Be quiet,” she said. “I’ve never slept with someone before.”

He raised an eyebrow and she flushed. “In the plainest sense of the word,” she ground out.

A hint of a smile graced his lips as he pulled a few curtains closed on the windows to block out the never ending city lights. “And in the other sense?”

Face completely pink, she considered not answering him. But _that_ was going to happen regardless, so she might as well know. “Never for that too.”

“I see.”

He slid into the bed and stayed a distance from her. To her relief, he was quiet and didn’t invade her space.

“Are you going to kill me in my sleep?”

He sat up and turned towards her. “This better be one of your poor jokes,” he growled.

“It’s not,” she said warningly. “I think it’s a fair question.”

“We’re _married._ ”

“You killed your father, why not your wife?”

He was silent then. When he spoke again, his voice was full of defeat.

“That was different. My master—It doesn’t matter.”

“He ordered you to? Just like he ordered you to marry me?” She wanted to ask if he would jump off a bridge too, but was able to button her lip.

“Yes. He is wise. I am stronger with his will.”

“And what if his will changes? What if he wants you to kill me?”

Silence once more. “He will not. We are vowed,” he argued.

Rey didn’t remember any of those.

“So what?”

“So I don’t hurt you. When you’re married, you do the opposite.”

“I’ll sleep like a baby then.”

 He didn’t respond. It took her long enough just to fall asleep, thinking of him lying next to her in the darkness. But the sound of is breathing was a strange, primal comfort that she found herself focusing on before she slipped into slumber.

~

The days passed slowly before something changed. Rey awoke not to an empty bed, but to Ren shaking her.

“Wake up.”

She brushed his hands off her and sat up. He was already dressed in his black attire, as usual.

“What?”

“Get dressed and come on.”

She bit her lip and watched his back walk out the door before she got up to pull on some clothes, any clothes. It had been days of training and boredom in this glorified prison and curiosity had bitten into her, hard. Kylo Ren be damned, she went.

He didn’t speak to her as a pair of troopers flanked her as they began down the street that Rey had memorized from one of her many trips to the roof. After a few blocks, Ren stopped in front of a huge set of garages and entered the first. Inside was a flurry of activity and metal; not to mention a few gleaming ships. There were speed pods and racers, and parts scattered everywhere. The familiar smell of oil and hyper fluid made Rey’s heart skip a beat.

“You can work here if you so desire. The manager here is loyal to the New Empire and would like your help,” Ren said gruffly.

Rey looked around and could already feel the smooth metal beneath her fingertips.

“You’d have to have guards,” Ren added.

She looked at him and raised her chin. “I want to bring BB-8. And I want his tools restored so he can help me.”

Ren’s jaw was tensed, but he gave a curt nod. “Don’t destroy anything,” he said before stalking off, leaving her there with the two soldiers. A tall Togruta headed towards her, hands stained with oil, but Rey still turned her head towards Ren’s retreating figure, trying to understand him.

When she returned to their home flanked with guards and smelling sharp from the grease under her nails, she found him at the table, eating.

He looked startled at her appearance but recovered quickly, and Rey wanted to laugh. He looked like he had been caught at something.

“Can I join you?” She asked hesitantly. His dark eyes flicked up to her then back to his food.

“If you wash your hands.”

She didn’t object, and soon she was across from him with her own plate of food. She swallowed a nervous chuckle when she thought of how domestic they must look, eating together.

“I enjoyed working today,” she offered.

“…Good.”

She tapped her foot against the floor and they continued to eat in silence.

“It is acceptable then?”

She looked up to see a rather focused Kylo Ren, concentrating on her. She inhaled and nodded.

“Yes. I have never worked on these kind of speeders, though.”

“I see.”

It was a tense sort of conversation, with both sides hesitant to answer or ask. It was awkward, and Rey walked away feeling more confused than before. She had fought Kylo Ren so many times. Now, she slept by him at night. But who was he?

That night she felt him watching her as she watched the sun set through the blurry haze of Coruscant’s skyline on the balcony. His eyes made the bare skin of her back feel vulnerable, even though it was just the design of her sleep shirt.

“Ren,” she said carefully, her call bringing him to the doorway, somehow still dark and forbidding in loose pants and a tight undershirt. “Was there a Jedi Temple here once?”

“Yes,” Ren answered, eyes dark and unreadable. “It was where my grandfather stayed and trained here for many years.”

“Is it…still here?”

He shook his head and she sighed.

“You’re not a Jedi anymore, Rey.”

She glared at him, her head dipping down so that her lowest twist of hair brushed against her neck. “I’m not whatever you are.”

“No,” he agreed. “But you knew that you could not be both a Jedi and be my wife.”

She drew her knees up to her chest as she sat on the edge of the balcony. “I can’t be a lot of things right now.”

His expression was almost sad, but she felt no sympathy. Only anger.

“I know how you feel,” he said gently. “It is a sacrifice.”

She straightened her neck and considered him for a moment before shrugging. When she looked up again, he had gone back inside.

When she slipped into bed next to his still figure, she felt herself began to worry. They had so little time, and the thought of him touching her in _that_ way terrified her.

“Ren,” she said suddenly. “Kiss me.”

For a moment, he didn’t move and she panicked. Would he deny her? She felt foolish. But then he turned to her and regarded her warily.

“What?”

“You heard me.”

His expression was a question and she felt her heart skip a beat.

“I just…we have to start somewhere.”

He didn’t answer her, but sat up. She waited, but he moved no further.

“Well?” She finally voiced and he looked embarrassed.

“Fine.” He edged towards her, and she tilted her head. He frowned and grabbed her chin. “Don’t move.”

“Force,” she snapped, nervous. “Just do it.”

His pale skin flushed pink to her amusement. “It would be easier if you shut up,” he growled.

“Just kiss me!”

He pressed his lips to hers in an angry, bruising kiss, moving against her lips as if he wished to devour them. She gasped, shocked, but her eyes closed as his hot breath brushed against her. She moved her lips back against his, her hand finding purchase on his clothed chest.

He pulled away suddenly, wiping his mouth off furiously with his hand. “Happy?”

She didn’t know what to say. The feeling in her chest was yearning. She knew that now for sure and was horrified by it. In the dark though, she was bold.

“No,” she whispered. “Do it again.”

He barked out a laugh but then found her lips again, just as hungry as before. Claiming, begging her to respond. When she did he did tilt his head, attacking her lips in a new way that made her sigh into his mouth. When the kiss ended this time, they were both panting.

“Good,” Rey mumbled and laid down in her normal spot as if she wasn’t tingling.

He stayed upright for a few minutes, and she wondered if he would say something. But then he laid down and was motionless so there was no more said between them.

~

Tense days made way to burning nights. During the day they ignored each other, argued, and were just awkward. But at night, she’d ask him to kiss her and it would all slip away. It was if they didn’t know how to communicate except through kisses and light touches. One night he slid his hand down her arm to her elbow and she shivered. But she couldn’t understand it. She could feel his gaze, day or night, but she still didn’t understand it. He never did anything more than kiss her, but she once woke in the night to feel his arm draped across her. He was gone by the time she woke up, but she was certain it had been there.

A full week and a half passed since their wedding. BB-8 kept her company during the day as she worked, and the evenings were filled with tense anticipation as Ren returned to roam the halls again.

She was determined though. As she had held a solar plate in her hand at work that day, she had decided that if she could kiss the man, she could talk to him more than their little quips. So when they laid in bed, she didn’t ask him to kiss her.

“Why did you turn to the dark side?”

With a little enjoyment she felt his shock.

“I’m trying to sleep.”

“No you’re not.” She rolled over to look at his back. “Answer me, oh husband. I think I have a right to know.”

His voice was angry. “Because there was power there, and someone who would help me.”

“Snoke?”

“Yes.”

She waited. “But didn’t you care about your family…those younglings…anything?”

“Any pain I had only made me stronger.”

“And now?”

“It is the same.”

“Is that why you killed Han?”

He groaned, frustrated. “I killed Han Solo because it was an order.”

“He was your father.”

He sat up and she was startled by the shine of his eyes in the dark. “I know he was! But I wanted to stop the madness, the pain. I was being—“

“Torn apart,” she finished with a whisper. “The pain didn’t help you then, did it?”

He was silent.

“Did it?”

“Go to sleep.”

She swallowed hard. “Kiss me.”

He turned and looked at her, just the shadow of his face in the darkness. “Why do you want a monster to kiss you?”

She balked, his tone was cold, but somehow vulnerable. She didn’t know what to think.

“I have to,” she said.

“I see,” he replied, and he laid back down. She wanted to reach out and touch him, touch the man whose wounds she had seen. But she didn’t. It felt like she would break him if she did.

~

The next morning, she didn’t feel like going to work. She laid in bed until BB-8 rolled into her room half an hour after she normally got up and asked her what was wrong.

“I’m fine,” she replied, laying a hand on the domed head. “Just tired.”

_“I heard you arguing last night.”_

She frowned and sighed. “What’s so different about that?”

BB-8 rolled back and forth nervously before Rey shooed him away.

“I’m alright, I promise. I just miss everyone.”

BB-8 perked up at that.

_“Do you think that Poe’s alright?”_

Rey smiled. “I think he’s ok. Don’t worry.” She rolled over onto her back and stared up at the top canopy. “I should try and visit them.”

BB-8 beeped his agreement. Rey closed her eyes and drifted, sighing as she fell asleep.

A large bang woke her. BB-8 let out a squeal as boots stomped their way upstairs into the bedroom.

“What are you doing here?” Ren asked, the sound angry through his modulator. “Are you ill?”

Rey sat up, shocked. As far as she knew, he was never home during the day. “No, I’m fine,” she repeated. She stared at the mask for a few moments before Ren reached up and pushed the release.

His eyes were narrowed and his dark hair fell about his narrow face. “Why didn’t you go into work?”

BB-8 rushed in between them. _“She’s tired, go away!”_

“It’s ok, BB,” Rey soothed as Ren glared at the droid. “I just didn’t feel like it. I had no idea you’d be so concerned.”

Ren bared his teeth a little and tried to step closer, but BB-8 blocked the way. “Does this have to do with last night?”

“No,” She said hotly. “You have nothing to do with it.”

“You’re lying,” Ren accused.

“Maybe I’m just tired,” she said, turning away. “I hate being a prisoner.”

“You’re not a prisoner.”

She looked at him, not with anger, but with just sadness. “Now who’s lying?”

BB-8 seemed uneasy, so she told him to go on without her. “I’ll get up soon,” she said, and reluctantly he rolled away.

“Why are you here?” She asked. “How did you know I wasn’t at work?”

“The manager called and told me.”

She wondered if she was being spied on.

Ren cocked his head, eyes searching her. He suddenly leaned forward and she edged away, eyes wide.

“What are you--?”

“I’m giving you what you wanted.”

His eyes bored into hers, but this was all wrong. This was meant for the night, when they couldn’t see each other and everything felt…different. But she was curious, she wanted to see his face. So she said, “Ok…”

His lips were gentle this time and mesmerizing. Inside she was melting, and a sound almost escaped her when a hand came up to cup her cheek. She found her own hand tangled in his hair, pulling him closer still. When she couldn’t breathe anymore his lips still didn’t leave her, kissing her cheek and then just below her jaw.

His eyes were bright and brow furrowed. His expression seemed somehow fierce as Rey covered her lips with her hand as she looked at him.

“Have dinner with me tonight,” Ren said, and she nodded before she even thought about it. He picked up his helmet and held it against his hip. “Seven,” he said affirmatively, and then whisked away into the hallway.

~

“This is stupid,” she grumbled to herself. It was silly to be nervous for something she had done before. But here she was, pacing and waiting for him to return.

It hadn’t taken her long to get this way. She felt like a betrayer for feeling attracted to Ren. It felt like giving in. She swallowed dryly and reminded herself that it was just because of the agreement. She wasn’t doing this for anything else. If she didn’t do this her friends would die.

So why did she feel so crummy?

She took to the roof again for some fresh air—Well, as fresh as Coruscant had to offer. The wind on her cheeks made her mind a little less jumbled.

When a dark figure arrived at the house, she sighed. He found her there, his mask and gloves already off.

“Are you going to come down?”

She considered, for a moment, never getting down. But then she thought better of it and slid down to land beside him.

He had already ordered food, a meal she had never had before.

“It’s a special dish, traditionally Alderaanian.”

“Alderaanian?”

“It was a planet destroyed by the Empire. Home planet of Leia Organa.”

“Oh!” Her eyes widened and she stared at him. “Did she…make this for you then?”

“Yes.”

She wished he would say more but didn’t press. She didn’t find his temper tantrums very endearing.

“It’s very good.” Her eyes slid to a nearby window as she chewed, but when he cleared his throat she refocused on him.

“Do you enjoy spicy foods?”

She frowned, realizing there was a heat to the food. “Uh, I think so. I haven’t had much experience.”

He ran a hand through his hair. “Do you just eat the same thing over and over? The software has thousands of different meals.”

She shrugged. “I ate the same thing for years. It’s just what I’m used to.”

He looked embarrassed, which pleased her. She had watched him sleep, eat, and once she even saw him pick at his teeth. He was no longer an unstoppable force, a mysterious figure. He was just a man.

“Why did you want us to have dinner together?”

His tone was snide. “Is it so ridiculous to want to eat with my wife?”

“Well, we aren’t really—“ She stopped, especially when she saw his face harden. “You told me once that you didn’t want this. Why would you, I mean…”

“Am I not allowed to change my mind?”

She must have looked shocked, for she glimpsed the tip of his ears turn pink.

“We are not horribly matched,” he tried again, the color spreading over his face, which only became more guarded.

“We are on completely different sides,” she said, but it was her only argument. Somehow, they fit together. It made no sense, and it made perfect sense.

“Are you even allowed to…to care about someone?”

He scoffed and stood. “The dark side embraces passion, emotion…the Jedi have always tried to stifle it, push it down. It’s not natural for one to be unbiased, unfeeling…The dark side encourages the user to use their emotions to become powerful. More powerful than the stifled Jedi.”

She laid her fork down, food forgotten. “You keep calling me a Jedi, but I’m not. I’ve read about the Jedi Order, and their rules…I don’t practice them. Luke doesn’t even practice most of them. I embrace the light, which doesn’t mean being unbiased or unfeeling. It just means making the right choices.” She narrowed her eyes. “You should know that.”

He sneered, pacing. “You know nothing.”

“I know that you didn’t always lean on the violence of the dark side. The dark and the light are so similar…but they draw their power from different places. It’s a choice, Ren.”

He glowered at her, ran his hand through his hair and then gave a strange laugh. “I don’t know how you don’t see it. You are so…” he laughed again, less strained and more real.

She scowled, confused. “What?”

He shook his head and sat back down. “You make me crazy.”

She shifted, staring at him. He looked slightly pleased as he stabbed a piece of meat with his fork.

“It is as I said before,” he explained. “We are well-matched.”

Such a statement made her flush with a foreign pleasure.

“Do you think I am right, then?”

He shrugged, his eyes watching her very carefully, like he always did. “I have no argument right now.”

She smiled, pushing a stray strand of hair back behind her ear.

“Good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I am long winded and got totally caught up in this story. I'm trying to keep it at three, but we shall see. Definitely no more than four. The support has been totally crazy, so thank you! You guys wanted it longer, so I made it longer! I'm getting a bit side tracked from my main story though, so don't blame me if it's postponed a little, haha...


	3. Chapter 3

They only had two weeks left, but Rey’s mind didn’t focus on that.

That night, he kissed her like she asked. But she didn’t stop there.

“Touch me.”

His lips froze and then, gently, his hand set down on her arm.

She rolled her eyes in the dark and separated herself from him to lay down. Then, guiding him close, they kissed again. She took his hand and let it rest on her waist, waiting.

His thumb moved softly against the bare strip of her stomach. Small circles, again and again. He began moving his hand a little, the touch beginning to feel good. Her shirt drew up her entire stomach, and she sighed against his lips and closed her eyes.

At first, she was tense, but now she was relaxed. This was something so entirely new. The simple pattern of his touch was soothing, and his kiss spurred on her hunger. She buried both hands in his thick dark hair.

“More,” she said quietly, holding her breath as he inched upward beneath her shirt. When he cupped her bare breast she inhaled sharply, a jolt heading straight down her center. He thumbed over the mound and she shivered and pressed her lips to his hard. He kissed her deeply, squeezing her breast slightly again and again.

She hummed when his lips met with her throat. She kissed whatever was close; his eyelid, his forehead. He moved down until he met the fabric of her nightshirt and then, without warning, tore it in half.

“Ren!” She gasped.

“What?” He growled against the skin of her breast, and she felt the vibration tickle her.

“You ruined the shirt,” she scolded, but didn’t object as he began kissing her breast and cupping the other, no, she simply _writhed_ from it.

“Ren,” she accidentally moaned, letting it slip when the sensation just bubbled up within her, too good to keep in.

He didn’t answer her. Instead, he pulled her up flush against him so that she sat in his lap. With the cool air suddenly brushing against her breasts, she buried her face into the crook of his neck.

A warm hand caressed the long, bare plane of her back and he surprised her by simply holding her. Perhaps he felt her heart, beating so fast against her ribs. They were all alone, swathed in the darkness and even the canopy of their bed. But she wasn’t scared, not really. There was a tenuous thread of calm tenderness that she didn’t understand but felt as Ren pressed his lips to the top of her head.

Her eyes closed and her arms slipped around his neck. She knew that without the heated passion that usually ruled times like these, she was horribly vulnerable. But she didn’t want to pull away, cover herself. She was fine with just _being._ She was safe there.

Neither said anything. It felt like a strange suspended moment in time that neither wanted to break. Finally, he laid them both down, but she didn’t move away and neither did he. She must have fallen asleep like that, with his arms around her, but she was so relaxed that she didn’t think about the strangeness of it, not at all…

~

When she woke up the next day she was sprawled across the bed, alone in the sheets. She sat up, feeling disoriented and clutched the sheet to her bare skin. Disappointment was sharp on her tongue, followed by guilt that she felt such a thing. But the memory of the night before, his skin against hers, the sweet safety she had experienced…it made her chest warm.

She thought of him, wondered about him at the most inconvenient times at work. She could be staring at four wires, completely lost in thought until BB-8 beeped at her. But she couldn’t explain it to him. She didn’t have anyone to tell, or ask. She thought of her friends and longing settled deep into her mind.

She left work early and took her time on the walk back to the house. The troopers that flanked her said nothing as usual, but she wondered if they’d answer a question.

“Where does Ren go?” She asked them.

One just looked at her, but the other jerked his head to the right. “In the old Senate building.”

She nodded absently, trying to remember anything she could about Capital City.

“What does he…do?”

There was a brief pause as the troopers looked at each other, but the one hesitantly said, “Carries out the Emperor’s will to the different heads, I suppose.”

“I see. Thank you.” She’d have to ask Ren herself.

When he arrived shortly after her, he paused right in the entry way, just looking at her as she hesitated in the hall. With a little jolt, he began moving again and took off his mask, placing it on a side table.

“Rey,” he began. “Have you eaten?”

She shook her head. He looked as if he would reach out to her, but instead his hand tightened into a fist and remained at his side.

“Join me.”

They ate mostly in silence, so she examined the dish he had ordered for her. A string like substance he called “pasta” in a sauce with bits of fish and vegetables, but still different than a stew. She liked it, and noticed it was hot in her mouth again, spicy.

She thought about saying something to start a conversation, but she was beginning to wonder if he was socially impaired or perhaps just naturally quiet. She couldn’t decide.

“Would you like to go out? To the city?” Ren suddenly asked, and she was startled out of her thoughts.

“Uh, yes.” It would be nice to explore, to see other people and get out of her mind more. She was beginning to feel mad, only conversing with Ren and BB-8 and just--

“No wait,” she stammered. “I want to go see my friends.”

A dark look fell over Ren’s face. “That wasn’t an option.”

“I want to see them. I need to see them.”

“No.”

She felt a swell of irritation in her chest. “Yes. You said I’m not a prisoner. This is what I want to do.”

His grip tightened around his fork. “They aren’t even on this planet. What you ask is unreasonable.”

“No, it’s not!” She pressed her lips together but the words tumbled out anyways. “I don’t have anyone but BB to talk to, and I don’t even know if they’re alright. For all I know, they’re being tortured or kept in some terrible hole, and I just have to know, I have to—“

“Fine!” Ren swept his hand across the table, making his plate to shoot straight into the wall. Sauce splattered across the wall. “Do what you want! As if I could refuse you!”

She stood, not intimidated by his temper. “I thought, I thought that after last night, I could ask you this. Without you acting like a crazy person!”

Anger slipped off his face. “What?”

She slammed her chair back into the table. “Thanks for proving me wrong.”

She fled, not caring what he thought, or even if he truly was being serious about her doing what she wanted. She climbed onto the roof, feeling the familiar old tug at her muscles that whispered that she had become soft.

Why was she so angry that he had reacted that way? She shouldn’t have expected anything else.

“The shuttle can be ready for you tonight.”

So he had followed her. She looked down at his smaller figure but didn’t answer.

“I can’t go, and you’d only have two days,” he continued. “But they aren’t far from here.”

“You can’t come?”

He shook his dark head. “I have my duties to attend to here.”

She picked her way down the roof and jumped down right in front of him.

“Why are you doing this?”

He looked uncomfortable, and he frowned. “You aren’t a prisoner. Why shouldn’t you go?”

She narrowed her eyes. “That’s not what you said earlier.”

He turned away. “There’s no sense in you being miserable,” he muttered.

Suddenly she lurched forward and threw her arms around him, pressing herself against his back. She knew why he was doing this.

“Thank you,” she said.

He was silent, but then brushed her off. “I’m going to go train. Be ready for the pod.”

He didn’t come back before the pod came and as she left Coruscant behind, she realized with a sinking feeling that she would sleep alone that night.

~

“Oh god, Rey, you’re alright!”

Finn swept her into a huge hug, his white prison uniform crackling as he did. Rey held onto him tightly, holding back tears. She remembered him, remembered how it felt to be with a friend whom she trusted and wasn’t afraid of. Who cared about her, one of the first people who did. The small, locked room barely held the two of them and two chairs, but it was Finn and he was whole and healthy.

He pulled back to look at her, holding her shoulders. “Are you ok? You look so pale. Did he hurt you?”

Rey shook her head, unable to keep the huge smile off her face. She was so happy that Finn was still himself, and that he didn’t hate her.

“I’m fine, it’s all ok. I was really worried about you….Is it terrible, Finn?”

“Hey, don’t do that. I can’t believe I’m saying it, but it’s better than when I was a trooper. I mean, it’s awful and boring and all, but there’s no torture, and I still see Poe every day in the yards and to eat.”

Rey swallowed the lump in her throat and breathed a deep breath of relief. “I was so afraid that they were…that they would hurt you.”

Finn shrugged. “At first, it seemed like that. But then, we were shipped here and treated like regular prisoners. Nothing like I saw on Starkiller.”

Rey hugged him again, and he patted her back. “You’re the one we’ve been worried about. God…Rey, tell me the truth. Is it bad?”

“No, no.” She shook her head and she knew he was studying her. “I swear. A little lonely, and he’s…stupid. But I have BB-8, and I work on these pods…”

Finn grasped her arm. “Really? You’ve got BB? Poe will be so relieved.”

Rey smiled again. “He’s my new best friend. After you, I mean.”

Finn laughed, but then his face suddenly grew serious. “Rey, have you heard anything from Leia?”

She shook her head. “I haven’t—I’m kept in this big house, and no one talks…I only really talk to Ren. Not any outside communication.”

Finn’s hand curled into a fist. “Did you…Did you have to sleep with him?”

Rey drew away a bit, embarrassed and conflicted. “No…But we have to.”

“What? Rey, you don’t have to do anything that bastard—“

“No, no. It’s Snoke. He’s going to come soon, and see Ren, and look inside his head…Ren hasn’t forced me at all. He’s treated me…I don’t know. He won’t make me do it. He doesn’t want to.”

Finn’s brow was furrowed, eyes serious and dark. “You should run, Rey. You shouldn’t be forced into anything like that, with a man like that.”

Rey shook her head and rubbed her forehead. “I don’t know what to do. If I don’t, he’ll kill all of you. It’s not just that…It feels like I’m being made into a part of the New Empire. A figurehead. I hate it.”

“I wish we could just break out and save you,” Finn said crossly. “Although everytime we’ve tried, you always save yourself.”

She took a deep breath. “I can deal with it all. I can take care of myself. Honest. I just…” She was ashamed. She couldn’t tell him. If only it was Leia…

“What is it?”

She buried her face into her hands. “He’s so kind to me sometimes,” she whispered. “And he’s so…careful. I can’t seem to help it, this feeling…”

Finn’s face was tinged with horror. “Rey…do you like him? Care about him?”

She wanted to say no.

“I don’t know.”

Finn stood up, and the guards posted outside the small room glanced in through the window. “How can you forget who he is, what he’s done? He tortured Poe, he killed children, even his own father! He hunted you down for a year like he was bent on killing you with his own hands!”

Rey shook her head. “You don’t know what it’s like, when it’s just us! When he’s the only one who bothers to speak to me! And he’s different than that, he’s bad, yes, but he’s not—I mean, he’s just—twisted, like Snoke’s pulling the strings of his mind!”

Finn dropped beside her chair. “Don’t let him twist your mind, Rey. Don’t forget what he is.”

Rey bit her lip and swallowed dryly.

“I’m just trying to survive,” she said. Finn’s entire face crumpled into understanding and he placed his hand on hers.

“I’m sorry, Rey, I just…it scares me that this all rests on your shoulders and is just…it consumes your whole life. I don’t want to watch you disappear into it.” He squeezed her hand. “You do whatever it takes, if you really don’t want to run. I—we wouldn’t blame you.”

She shook her head. “Never. I couldn’t do that to everyone.”

Finn stood and so did she, and they hugged. “Whatever happens, don’t let them change who you are, Rey,” he told her. “This fight isn’t over.”

She nodded, eyes closed. “I won’t let it die.”

~

When she returned to the house in Capital City, it was empty. She thought about Finn’s words and held herself, arms gripping her sides tightly.

BB-8 rolled in, chirping happily to welcome her back.

“BB!” She dropped to her knees to see her friend eye-to-eye. Or lens. “I saw Finn and Poe. They miss you.”

_“Is Poe ok? Did they hurt him?”_

She shook her head. “He’s the same as ever. Told me to tell you to ‘Keep on, BB.’”

BB-8 rolled back and forth with delight. Rey smiled. Must be a special phrase to the little droid.

“Has Ren been here?”

BB-8 stopped and let out a low beep. _“Yes. Broke a window too.”_

“Really? Why?”

BB-8 didn’t know. _“Came back, was angry. Window was fixed already.”_

Rey gave the droid a little smile. “I bet he didn’t want me to know. Luckily, I have a little droid who spies for me.”

The droid gave a few saucy beeps, pleased.

“Come on, I’m starving.”

She had just ordered when she heard the unmistakable sound of the door opening. BB-8 whirled around behind Rey’s legs just as Ren came into view.

His helmet was off, hair messy as usual. But the circles under his eyes had darkened and there was no light in his dark eyes.

“So you’ve returned.”

“Of course,” Rey replied tersely, waiting for something. He stared at her and took a few steps forward, flinching when she leaned away.

“Should I be prepared for you to hate me now?” He asked bitterly. “Have your friends all filled your mind with lies and propaganda?”

“Stop it,” she snapped. “You’re acting like a jealous child.”

BB-8 rushed out, a little threatening flame blazing, ready to poke at Ren’s shin. Ren looked at him wearily.

“Even the droid thinks I’ll just turn around and hurt you.”

His words seemed less catty now, more tired and hurt. Rey stepped around the little droid and caught Ren’s arm through his singed cloak.

“I don’t think like that,” She said firmly, and he looked at her warily.

“You’re not the same man,” she said, “as the one who chased me down in the forest on Starkiller.”

He shook his dark head and move away from her. “Yes I am.”

Determined, she slipped in front of him and rested her hand on his upper arm. “No. That man would not have brought me my friend. He wouldn’t have found me a place to do what I like every day. He wouldn’t have transferred my friends to a better prison.”

Ren looked at her, shocked, but she knew by his expression that she had been right about her suspicions.

“You did do that, didn’t you?”

He didn’t reply, only shifted his gaze away.

She leaned into him. “Your compassion doesn’t make you weak, Ren.”

“Doesn’t it?” He asked, but there was no bitterness left.

Her hand found his cold one and watched his eyes return to hers with a vulnerability she had only seen glimpses of.

“I’m tired,” she said quietly. “Will you come to bed with me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so you guys convinced me to make it a little longer. Your comments do mean the world! I like to listen to what you guys think and want. I hope you guys are having a good time and happy holidays if you are in the U.S.!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rated R for Reylo ;)

When she let go of his hand once they reached the bedroom, he didn’t move. He stood and watched her turn to him, her heart beating fast enough to make her breaths shallow.

“Don’t just stand there,” she said quietly, and cautiously, he moved forward. He looked down at her and then up, and she took his hand and placed it on her waist.

“Show me that you care,” she asked, her throat dry. She was asking him for help, because she was scared. Not of him, but of what they were about to do and what it meant.

He ran his other hand across her cheek to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. Tilting his hair, he said, very carefully; “You must know that I…I am not thinking of this in the terms of our marriage.”

She looked up at him, frowning a little. “Then what?”

His eyes bored into hers so intensely she wanted to blink, for it was like looking into the sun.

“I am thinking about this as something between you and me,” he murmured, and she found herself glancing at him and then away, a curious feeling curling in her gut.

“Tell me what to do,” he said softly.

She rested her head on his chest for a moment, remembering the feeling of safety she felt that one night.

“Kiss me.”

He cupped the nape of her neck and leaned down to kiss her very tenderly, so sweet she could have sworn he loved her. She closed her eyes, letting her thoughts slip away. Perhaps, this is what it felt like. Even if it wasn’t love, exactly, maybe this is what it felt like.

They parted and he led her to the bed, but then sat down on the edge himself.

“Let me take your hair down,” he asked, and she threw him a curious glance at the odd request. But then she sat down next to him and turned away and focused on the feeling of his fingers undoing the careful knots of her hair. He started with the lowest, letting it fall down between her shoulder blades. Then the next. After the top bun, he ran his hands through the length of it, gently.

She felt his fingertips brush away the top of her shirt, exposing a part of her shoulder. He kissed her there, his lips burning her skin. Ren pressed another kiss closer to her neck and she shivered. She turned towards him and an unexpected smile crossed Ren’s lips.

“I’ve never seen you with your hair down,” he told her. “You’re beautiful.”

She smiled and ducked her head down, and she felt his lips brush her temple.

She wound her arms around his neck and pulled him to her, kissing him deeply without a thought. Ren’s hand crept to her waist and slid beneath her shirt. His skin on hers felt good, somehow, like scratching an itch she didn’t know she had. All she knew was that she wanted more.

He pushed his hand up higher, his thumb brushing against the soft valley of her spine. She broke the kiss and he lifted her shirt away, tossing it somewhere neither of them looked. Checking his expression, she slid her hands down his broad chest, feeling the clothed wall. He was just so big. She wasn’t a tiny girl, but he made her feel that way when her palm was spread across his chest, looking small in comparison. His height was incredible, and she supposed she was lucky—if she had been short, the gap between the two would be inconvenient. But as it was, she came up to his shoulder, where she liked to lay her head. She glanced up at him, and he bent down to kiss her hungrily.

Her hands went to the smooth plane of his stomach and pushed his shirt up. He jumped a little at the contact, moving away to look down at what she was doing. After they met eyes, he pulled the black undershirt up off of him and she was met with miles of creamy skin, pitted with bumps of scars and burns. She touched them almost with disbelief, just because there were so many, and because her skin looked so…similar. Even in the dim light she knew he could make out the large burn on her right side from an ill-functioning engine, the jagged scar on her stomach from an unfortunate fall near the glass ground of the Crackle, and the white patches of skin from a metal burn before she learned to wear wraps. He was not half as curious as she was, scanning his body, but when he pressed his lips to the imperfect rise of her arm her heart swelled.

He took her hands to still them, something painful in his eyes. “Don’t look at them.”

She frowned and pushed her hands back to where she wanted them. “They’re you. Why can’t I look at you?”

He traced one of her own marks, the one across her stomach. “I am no perfect specimen. I know how I look.”

She reached up to brush her fingers along his jawline, moving his waves of black hair away from his eyes. “You look fine. Do you…do you think I look bad? With my scars?”

He shook his head, eyes finally connecting with hers. “No. They…fit you.”

She wondered for a moment at that, but then smiled a little. “I look at you, and it makes me…it makes me want this,” she tried to explain. “When you first took your mask off, I thought…I was so surprised. You were young, and very—very handsome.” She swallowed nervously, but looked up when he chuckled.

He touched his forehead to hers. “I surprised you, then? Not exactly the monster you expected?”

Her breath seemed to be gone. He was just so _close_ , his eyes so dark and liquid and _intense._ A little shake of her head was all she could manage.

“Come here,” he whispered, pulling her into his lap.

She was surprised to be able to feel him, already hard and hot against the lowest part of her stomach. It made her muscles contract for a strong moment, sending a hot yearning to her lower region. Her center pulsed and she found herself gripping his large arms tightly for some kind of leverage. His gaze was hungry and longing, staring at her without regard, which is exactly how she imagined she was looking at him.

Their lips clashed together and she clung to him, pushing closer and closer. He let out a sigh as his hand cupped her bottom and squeezed. She bit her lip in an effort to stay quiet, but she wanted more, more. She tossed away her breast band and his lips were there, kissing, sucking, touching. She was a mess in his arms after a few minutes of this torture, a figure of want for the unknown.

“Ren,” she murmured, and was a little outraged at the desire that was so laced through her tone. But it incited something in Ren, who hastily laid her down onto the bed and went to pull off her shoes. He was done in a flash and his fingers were curved around her waistband, begging.

“Rey,” he asked. “Please.”

She nodded and somehow he saw it in the dark. Her pants were gone in mere seconds and he was on top of her. His warm body against hers was what she wanted, but the fabric between them was not. She tugged at his pants and he swore a low oath, as if he had forgotten.

He pressed a quick kiss to her lips and then drew back, and she watched him hurriedly fumble with the buttons and his boots, but he was still remarkably quick about it. His return was nice; a long, sweet kiss that conveyed the longing the two felt, even in each other’s arms as they were. She could feel the heat of him pressing against her center as they huddled a little closer. Rey looked at Ren, really looked at his face and when she saw how serious he looked she brushed her lips across his brow. He kissed the hollow of her cheek and then down, latching onto her neck where she was sensitive.

She fisted a hand into his dark, unruly hair and wrapped her legs around his waist. He ground down with his hips and she let out a breathy groan. It felt so _good_ to be close and to have him press against where she ached—she wanted more. When he did it again she moved as well, wanting more friction, more heat.

She must have let out a whimper because he pulled back from where he had been leaving a mark of claim on her neck.

“Are you alright?”

She nodded, reaching for him to pull him close so she could try and communicate the feelings she had coursing through her with a kiss. She gasped out when he shifted and lightly touched her outside of her underwear; just brushing against her mound.

“Yes,” she encouraged, and when he touched her again she realized that she was wet, so wet for him. She had been told that this would be how it would go—she had asked another girl and read up on the subject when she had to begin to consider Snoke’s proposal. She knew that it would happen, but she still found herself surprised. She had never felt this way, not even when she had touched herself alone in her bed. This was heightened and heady.

“Gods,” Ren mumbled, feeling her. He glanced at her for approval before moving his hand under the scrap of fabric to truly touch her the way she had longed for. His fingers were a little awkward as he tried to find the right motion, but he was a keen observer and had her squirming within no time. She clutched him, wondering what the hell the great difference was between her fingers and his, because she had never made herself feel exactly this way.

“Good?” Ren asked, his eyes shining in the darkness as he watched the ecstasy flit across her features again and again.

“Yes,” she gasped, and she found her own hand pressing his down to stroke her more firmly. He kissed her to swallow her sounds of pleasure and she felt his fingers creep down. One slipped inside her and she moved against it, surprised at the intrusion until he curled it inside of her. It felt so good, so different that she didn’t even notice when another joined the first. His other fingers resumed stroking her and it only took a few moments before she came with a cry, her nails digging into Ren’s flesh.

He kissed her face all over and held her close as she came down from her high. She buried her face into his shoulder, panting. She could still feel Ren’s member, hot and hard against her, but she felt positively weak at the moment.

She hadn’t the faintest idea what to say. Thank you? Embarrassment overtook all other emotions so she stayed where she was.

“Did I hurt you?”

She froze, not realizing she wasn’t the only one with worried thoughts.

“No,” she replied, and even kissed his shoulder as encouragement. “No, it was…really nice.”

He peeled her away from him so he could look at her. He stroked her pink cheek and she realized he was smiling, just a little bit. He looked incredibly boyish, his eyes crinkled up and his soft lips quirked up. So much younger than the severe man who usually walked the halls. She felt a surge of yearning unlike how she was feeling earlier—it was not physical. She wanted to keep that smile, that relaxed and tender man who held her close. She leaned up and kissed his face—his jaw, the hollow under his eyes, his serious brow and nose. She looked at him with his scattered, dark birthmarks and soft eyes and large nose and she loved him. She loved the way he looked at her, touched her. He loved that his hands only held her in this moment and did not try to draw her back into their activity. She loved the sound he made when he stretched, and the frown he wore when he was thinking. She loved his awkward gestures and even his damn stubbornness. His forehead touched hers and they stayed like that, close and quiet and she could feel his energy through the force, so calm and strong—unlike ever before. Did he feel how she felt? Did he even have an idea how close her chest was to bursting?

She didn’t know what to say, she didn’t know how to express what she felt or thought. She was scared, plain and simple. What would he say? What if she was just being silly—a girl who had never even been kissed before, thinking she loved him? Maybe she was tricking herself—she wanted to be made love to, wanted love so badly. Was this all so she could pretend that maybe he felt that way about her?

It was too much for her. She pushed it away, swept her mind clean with only one thought of how to move forward. She felt like she loved him; she wanted to make love with him. It was silly and cheesy and ridiculous, but she _wanted_ it and she want him to realize how she felt because of it.

So she hooked her thumb through her underwear and pushed them down her thighs. Ren moved, eyes wide as she removed them completely. She lay bare beneath him and waited. When he only stared at the length of her body, she placed a hand on his hip and pushed gently, hoping he’d realize what she wanted.

With a little jump, he gripped his underwear and pushed them off, discarding them immediately. She didn’t look at first, but then snuck a small peek. He was huge, much bigger than the softened members she had accidently glimpsed in the public refreshers on Jakku. No, he was thick and it jutted proudly away from his hipbones. It looked painful to her, and she hesitantly reached out to touch it experimentally. He hissed at her palm curling around it and startled, she let go.

“No, it’s ok,” he murmured, taking her hand and placing it back onto him, His eyes closed. “It feels good.”

She moved, gently, and he took a sharp breath, she watched his tense expression apprehensively and muttered, “Am I doing it right?”

A small chuckle escaped his lips and he covered her hand with his and moved hers in form strokes. “You’re doing fine. Anything feels good.”

She continued until he stopped her, giving her a short kiss on her lips. “Lay back.”

She did and only tensed when she felt him nudge at the thatch of curls at her center.

“Ren—“

“It’s ok. Not yet, I know.”

She flung her arms around his neck and held him close, her nerves making her stomach flutter. She had heard it would hurt, and even though she wasn’t afraid of pain, she didn’t want to ruin this.

Ren shifted so his hand could touch her again, gently now that she was so sensitive. Soon enough she was moving with his hand, lost again in the nimble motions of his fingers. He grasped his cock and rubbed it against her, making them both gasp. Their noses touched and she looked straight into his eyes as he positioned himself but waited.

“Are you sure?” He asked, and she wondered why he would ask that instead of _Are you ready?_

“I’m sure,” she replied, the swell of tenderness in her chest overwhelming again. He pressed, and then slowly slid in. He reached a point in which he could no longer be so gentle, and warned her.

“Relax,” he whispered, and she tried, tried only focusing on the tickle of his hair against her cheek and his breath on her lips. But he pushed forward in one thrust and he felt so big, too big.

She didn’t let herself cry out, instead gritting her teeth, but one treacherous tear escaped—an automatic response to the pain. When she opened her eyes, she saw a sorrowful Ren just before he leant down to kiss the tear away.

“Kiss me,” she murmured before their lips met, a welcome distraction as he began to move ever so carefully, the pain ebbing away. He slowly thrust his hips back and forth until she felt better and clutched his body to hers. He slid into her slick heat again and again, rubbing deep inside her where even his long fingers didn’t reach.

Her legs tightened around his waist and he thrust into her a little faster, holding her flush up against the length of his body. She pressed her lips to his shoulder, tasting the salt of his skin. She heard him murmur her name again and again.

“Rey, Rey, Rey…”

His thrusts grew faster and she whimpered from the sensation, so full and strange. His lips found hers again and they kissed and kissed until she couldn’t breathe anymore.

“Ren,” she whispered, closing her eyes and his hips slowed with a quiet groan. He pulled back some and tried to pull her legs higher, but she let out a sound of protest and reached for him.

“Don’t. I want to be able to…hold onto you.” She wanted him close, wanted to be able to kiss him and have his arms hold her. His gaze softened and his arms pulled her up against him. Still connected but sitting up now, the angle was different and he sunk a little deeper into her.

“Better?” He asked and she glanced up at him, biting her lip.

“I don’t know what to do,” she said, gripping his arm.

His hands slid to her hips and he pushed them gently. She moved up and down, a sigh escaping her lips as she adjusted. He gave her a funny little grin and ran his lips down her throat. She looped her arms around his neck and began moving without his help. Ren’s head tipped back, eyes closing in pleasure as they moved together. A low groan echoed in Ren’s throat and Rey felt it against her cheek, which rested in the crook of his neck. Ren rubbed just the right place again and again, pushing her higher and higher until she was just on the edge, waiting for that last push.

“Come,” Ren growled in her ear as her nails dug into him.

“Ren,” she said, breathless. His arms tightened around her.

“I’m here,” he promised, and with a cry she let go, her body overcome with sharp shoots of pleasure. He moaned her name and she felt him throb inside of her, like a heartbeat. Through the cloud of intensity, she realized how tightly he held her and how good it felt.

She was weak in his arms, leaning against him completely as she caught her breath while the fog in her mind cleared. Both were damp from sweat, and Rey could already feel a chill as it cooled. But Ren was warm, and she found her mind blank except for the simple feeling of relief.

Ren began to move and carefully laid her back where they began. He hovered over her for only a moment before separating them. She flinched at the sudden emptiness and wrapped her arms around herself. She began to search for the sheet but he returned with a cloth for her, averting his eyes when she cleaned herself up. He sat, awkward, on the edge of the bed looking away. It was shy and so boyish the way his dark hair fell around his hidden face.

Rey reached out and touched his arm when she was done, and he turned to her with trepidation in his eyes until he saw her other arm lift out to him. Gratefully he slid into the bed next to her, his warm breath chuffing against her forehead as her arms went around him.

His hand stroked her bare back and she relaxed. This felt so different—to be so close and together without desire charging through the pair. She found that she liked it just as much—it was like the night he held her close.

They didn’t speak for a long time. For once, they just let themselves be. Rey couldn’t think of anything to say. Finally, he asked if she was alright.

“Yes,” she said, briefly recalling the smear of blood on the cloth that he had given her. It didn’t hurt now.

He hesitated. “You aren’t lying?”

She smiled into his skin. “No, I’m not lying.”

He pressed a kiss to her forehead and tucked the blankets up closer. Rey closed her eyes and drifted.

~

When she woke up, she was startled to find that she was laying on a warm, alive shoulder. The shoulder of her husband. Who hadn’t, like every other day, left her.

She sat up from him, her hand rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She placed a spread palm on his chest and looked at him in the pale morning light. He was _here._

She hadn’t realized she had wanted him to stay.

Turning back towards the end of the bed, she stretched and remembered she was naked. Somehow, she was embarrassed. She moved to get up and find a shirt or her underwear, but a large hand slipped around her waist and tugged her back down.

“Where are you going?”

She laid back down cautiously, drawing the blanket up to cover herself. “To get a shirt.”

Dark eyes bored into hers and she waited.

“I’ll get it,” he said finally, sitting up. “I’m the one who threw it, anyways.”

Cheeks flushing, she looked away and then back again as Ren revealed himself completely. In the sunlight, he was almost as white as their sheets, but so...hard. His body, even the ridges and valleys of his scars, looked sculpted. The dark hair that gathered near his groin was the only part that interrupted this, but her eyes didn’t linger there. When he handed her her shirt, she looked away.

As she put on her shirt, he pulled on his underwear but then came back to bed. He laid next to her, head propped up by his hand.

“How do you feel?” He asked. She drew her knees up to her chest and shrugged.

“Fine.”

He swallowed, his adam’s apple bobbing. “Rey…Why did you decide on last night?”

She didn’t meet his eyes. “It felt right.”

Even without looking, she could feel the intensity of his gaze.

“Is that all?”

“No,” she scowled. “I…I wanted to.”

He sat up and she glanced at him as he gently turned her cheek towards him so they could see eye-to-eye.

“Was it because of Snoke?” He asked.

For a moment, she just looked at him. She felt his energy through the force and realized he was guarded, very guarded. There was fear behind his walls.

“No,” she whispered.

Ren’s shoulder’s lowered and a deep sigh fell out of him. “Rey,” he began. “I know you could never love me. You called me a monster once, and you were…you weren’t wrong. But I—“

The two doors to their bedroom swung open to reveal a wall of troopers and one ginger-haired, smug-faced general who stepped neatly into the room.

“Looks like the Jedi-whore is hard at work,” Hux said with a trace of a sneer. “Oh how the mighty have fallen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, even though this chapter was pure smut, plot lies ahead! I have made a clear outline and feel very confident that I can wrap it up in two more chapters. You guys wanted more, so I sat down, wrote the longest piece of smut I've ever written, and planned out a real storyline. Kisses to all of you; you are making finals more bearable. Even though I shouldn't be writing at all since I have so much to do. But a girl has to take breaks, right?


	5. Chapter 5

“OUT!” Ren roared, throwing the blanket over Rey’s scantily clad body and leaping out of bed.

“This is important business, Ren.”

Rey watched in horror as Ren reached for Hux’s throat. Twenty blasters raised at once and Ren’s empty hand curled into a fist just inches from the other man.

“Get out!” Ren growled.

Hux sighed. “Why hide what so many men have already seen?” He shrugged. “Come with me, and I will.”

Ren’s hands swept into the air and every trooper flew out of the room at once, leaving only Hux standing. He took a step closer, right into the other man’s space and glared down at him.

“You have seconds to get out of this room before I crush your windpipe,” Ren ordered. “You will not speak of my wife ever again and I will speak to you only when I have decided not to kill you.”

Hux raised his leather-clad hands in faux defeat. “Have it your way, Ren. But if you refuse to cooperate, Leader Snoke will surely be unhappy to hear of it.”

Ren didn’t back down, and Rey felt slightly amused. She had been called much worse by Niima’s inhabitants and wasn’t wounded. It seemed that Ren felt the need to defend her honor, something she didn’t consider to be much worth.

Hux backed up and then turned on his heel out the door, shutting them with a clang. Ren’s shoulder trembled with rage, and Rey slid out of bed to go to him.

“Ren,” she soothed. “Calm down.”

“I’ll rip him apart,” Ren said through clenched teeth, eyes still on the door.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” She said calmly, laying a hand on his arm. “We weren’t even doing anything worth seeing.”

The look Ren gave her was incredulous, as if he couldn’t believe she wasn’t as outraged as he was.

A thought came to her and she frowned at the door. “Why do you think he’s here?” She asked. “Snoke isn’t supposed to come for another week or so…”

Ren tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “Probably just to bother us,” he grumbled. “But nothing to be worried about.”

Rey shot him a look. “I’m not worried,” she answered, stepping away to go head to the refresher.

He caught her hand and drew her back to him.

“Rey,” he said quietly, his voice almost husky. Rey’s stomach dropped at the sound. “Last night…it was…”

“I know,” she replied quickly, dropping her gaze. “I felt it too.”

A brief smile crossed his full lips and he dropped a soft kiss to her temple before he released her. She hurried away to the fresher, not wanting to think about it, not wanting to think about anything at all.

~

She didn’t go to work that day. Ren and her both did, because he didn’t trust Hux. Apparently, he had opposed of the marriage because he himself wanted the opportunity to seize power. Rey didn’t doubt it, she had heard much about the man. And she was beginning to trust Ren’s judgement.

It was boring and lonely, for she was stuck in the bedroom for most of the day. Their house crawled with troopers. Rey didn’t realize how comfortable she had gotten with the house until it changed. It didn’t feel like home at all.

But she did get to spy on the meeting between Ren and the general, for she scaled the building and hid beneath a window, curious.

Ren, all in black and forbidding, was as angry at Hux as he was at Finn that day long ago in the forest. It almost scared her, seeing the now unfamiliar expression on his face. She ducked back beneath the window sill.

“You worm,” he hissed, addressing the other man as he entered the room.

“Still cross?” Hux sounded smug.

There was a clang. “You will leave my house. You have no right to dwell here.”

“Indeed. I thought we’d just pay a customary visit.”

“Say what you came to say, then.”

There was a pause, and Rey found herself holding her breath.

“Emperor Snoke wants some good publicity to settle down revolts. And what is a better symbol of unity than you and your Jedi wife?”

Hux began to say something else, but it was cut off by a choking noise.

“You will not speak of her,” Ren said calmly.

Rey peeked inside and saw Hux clutching his throat while Ren’s hand hung in their air, fingers outstretched. She ducked down with a sharp breath as Hux was released, gasping.

“You barbarian!” He wheezed.

“What does he want from us?” Ren asked, his voice bored.

“An appearance at the First Order’s 9th anniversairy tomorrow. Just here on Coruscant, but it will be broadcasted throughout the galaxy.”

Ren’s voice was low. “She will not want that. It will embarrass her.”

An edge of smugness crept into Hux’s voice. “It is the order of your Emperor. And…hers as well.”

There was silence. “Fine.”

“Good.” Hux seemed to walk away, the clicking sound of his boots leaving. “I will send in those necessary to instruct you two. I will remain in the city until the Emperor arrives next week.”

“Leave,” Ren instructed. With a humph, the door closed.

Rey was frozen, chilled by the conversation.

“Shit.” Ren’s voice was suddenly close to her, as if he had stepped closer to the window.

“Shit, shit, shit,” he whispered.

Rey closed her eyes and ducked her head, trying to mask her presence in the Force. Ren was upset, and it was hard not to reach out to try and understand why.

Ren moved away from the window and Rey scrambled for a foothold in the wall. She climbed back up to her balcony, where she could see troopers filing out of their house, led by an imposing dark figure.

The bedroom door opened and Rey brushed off her clothes, hoping there wasn’t any dirt from the house all over her.

“Rey?”

She turned and leaned against the railing. “Hi,” she said nervously.

He drew closer but his eyes looked past her at the soldiers. “They’ll be leaving now. Permanently.”

She nodded and suddenly he crushed her to his chest.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

She nodded again and let her arms loop around him. He was so solid.

“I need to tell you something.”

She looked up, trying to seem curious even though she was well aware of what he had to say.

He pushed her hair behind her ear. “Snoke…he wants us to attend the First Order Anniversary celebration tomorrow. For publicity, to stop the revolts.”

She swallowed and asked, “How many revolts? Are they…are they Resistance?”

He frowned at her, looking a little confused. “No…what was left of the Resistance doesn’t seem to be connected. But they are numerous.”

She drew back a little. “Why shouldn’t they be?”

Ren sighed. “Are you…are you alright with us doing this?”

Her lips pressed into a firm line. “I don’t have a choice.”

His fingers caressing her cheek felt like an apology. For once she didn’t pull away and draw into herself. She remembered how Ren had sounded through the window—so reluctant. So she pushed herself back into his arms and buried her head into the crook of his neck. Just to be held for a while longer, which he seemed to have no objection to.

~

The next day was terrible. Rey was poked and prodded, measured and primped. She was to be dressed in what was referred to as “traditional,” which to her meant uncomfortable. The woman who came had a strange accent and was very bossy. Her name was a mystery, all the aids only referred to her as Ma’am, and she had a cruel eye and yanked on a hunk of Rey’s hair if she squirmed.

“Braids, all the way around like a crown,” she said, huffing on a nasty cancer stick. Rey’s nose crinkled as the smoke drifted by her.

An aid began brushing Rey’s hair and the woman clucked. “So short…we may need extensions.

Rey bristled at the thought. “How long is this going to take?”

The woman eyed her. “Much longer than we have.” She jabbed a long finger at Rey’s spine. “Stand up straight.”

Rey’s hair was woven into an elaborate and heavy hairstyle, although she guessed it was quite tame compared to some holos she had seen. Still, her heart was heavy. She was a traitor. All of this frivolity while her friends rotted in prison. The thought of the galaxy looking upon her as a traitor made her heart hurt. She was being sewn into a long, dark purple dress with gathered sleeves when she heard the woman say Ren’s name.

“Where is she?’ Rey interrupted. “Can I see him?”

The woman cast her a glare. “No. We have work to do still.”

Rey narrowed her gaze. “Just for a moment. I need to speak with him.”

“No.”

Angry and provoked, Rey swept her hands away from herself and every woman in the room stumbled away from her. She stepped primly off the stool she had been put upon and started for the door. Ren had been banished from the bedroom to get ready in a different room.

Ignoring protests, Rey left the room and into the next. Ren looked up from his tablet and then stood when he saw it was her.

His hair was glossy and black, the wild curls halfway tamed into a dark mane. He looked imposing, his entire figure swathed in dark garments similar to the ones he had worn when they first met, but more formal. A dark, wide vest was belted at his waist, and with a start Rey realized he looked very much like his grandfather.

“Rey?”

She stayed where she was, one hand clutching a huge swath of gown. She squeezed it.

“I don’t want to do this,” she said. “They’ll hate me, Ren.”

He pitied her. “I know.”

She shook her heavy head. “Don’t make me do this.”

“I don’t want to make you do anything.”

She looked at him, hard, until she realized he was telling the truth. Despite the number of things his team had done to make his skin look fresh and healthy, Ren’s eyes were still tired.

He walked towards her and took her hand carefully.

“I have no power here. All I can do is hold your hand.”

“I wish you wouldn’t,” Rey said weakly. “I never needed anyone to hold my hand before.”

“You tell me not to be afraid of being weak,” he remarked. “But what about you?”

She shook her head and leaned into him, letting his arm slide around her. His lips pressed to her head.

“You look beautiful.”

“You do too.”

He laughed. It was a beautiful sound.

“I’m here,” he reminded her. “You aren’t alone.”

She nodded again but jumped as he touched her bare back through a unsewn hole in her back.

“I don’t think you’re finished,” he said, amusement lacing through his tone.

“’ll never be finished,” she grumbled. But still, she returned to her room in hopes that the galaxy would at least see her fully clothed.

~

He held her hand as they rode in the pod to the Imperial Palace that Hux and his troopers now resided in. The place was dark and ornate, but the Force this was distrurbed and warped—it shrieked a whisper constantly. Ren told her it used to be a Jedi Temple and she could barely believe it. So many years had changed it…surely it had never felt like this back then.

“We could have lived here, you know,” He mentioned. She shivered.

“I’m glad we didn’t.”

There was a great big balcony and many cameras all over the place. Rey and Ren waited inside, being prepped with last minute details.

“After he gives his speech you smile and wave. You say nothing. Understood?”

“I understand,” she mumbled, casting a glance over to Ren, who was going over his speech again. Hux, who had arrived and avoided even looking at Rey, was to speak first. Ren looked up and caught her eye.

She watched as he reached for his mask, but then Hux stopped him.

“Emperor Snoke is going for a humane approach. You are to incite loyalty, not fear.”

Ren looked like he was going to bite Hux’s head off. He clutched his helmet in a fearsome way until Rey went over and laid a hand over his.

“It will be better this way,” she murmured, and his restless eyes met hers. Over his shoulder, Hux smirked at her.

“Tame the beast,” he whispered, and Ren swung around. But Hux was already walking towards the waved glass doors.

“There is no creature worse than that smug little—“

“Stop,” Rey interrupted. With a grim look, Ren fell silent.

They could not hear Hux’s speech, but they could hear the roar of approval from the crowd. It made Rey feel sick. Ren took her hand and they both stared straight ahead.

Finally, their cue came. Hux was waiting for them by the microphone, and Rey held tightly to Ren’s arm. He began to speak but she couldn’t understand what he was saying. She saw all of the upturned, oval faces and large, false smile. The black lens of the cameras gleamed. A bead of sweat rolled down her spine.

She prayed Finn and Poe weren’t watching. She prayed Leia wasn’t watching. She hoped that every last resistance fighter was hiding somewhere so deep that they did not see the broadcast. But she knew they were. They were watching and waiting. But for what?

Suddenly there was silence and she realized Ren was done. She felt his gaze and remembered her instructions. She managed a sort of grimace, but as her hand raised to wave she instead grabbed the microphone.

“Never give up,” she breathed.

There was a roar of sound. Ren ripped the microphone from her hand and she was dragged backwards. She heard Hux’s voice speaking fast, angry and tilted as the glass doors closed in front of her, muffling the sound.

“Get her! Take her into custody!” There were shouts all around and hands on her. She was frightened, frightened and thrust them away but a sudden, loud shout silenced the hands and voices.

“No one lay a hand on her,” Ren roared. “She is my wife and I will deal with her as the Emperor sees fit!”

Rey tried to back away from him, but he had a hard grip on her arm and dragged her with him right out the door and down the stairs. He pushed her into a pod and when he climbed in he grabbed the wheel as if she’d snatch it from him.

“Ren, I didn’t—“

“Do you know what you’ve done?” He snarled. “Do you have any sense of self-preservation, or do you just want to die?”

His driving was crazy and erratic, almost steering them into other pods many times. Rey could have driven better in her sleep.

“Are you trying to kill us?” She huffed. Ren gave a strangeled laugh.

“Are you?” He asked.

They arrived at the house and shoved her inside, locking the door behind him with almost every kind of protection the house had.

“All I’ve tried to do is keep you alive,” he seethed. “And you don’t give a wonkrat’s ass. Were you planning on doing this from the beginning? Were you just laying in wait?”

“No!” she said. “No. I didn’t even realize what I was doing when I was doing it. But I just, I couldn’t, I couldn’t do it!”

“You didn’t have to _do_ anything!” He shouted. “You could have just stood there and nothing would have happened!”

Rey’s head snapped up. “Well I couldn’t. It’s not who I am.”

Ren grabbed her shoulders and she could feel his hot breath on her skin.

“Well, your precious resistance won’t be very happy if you are dead, right?”

She stepped away and bit her lip. Damn it, he was right.

“I’m done here,” Ren said, and stalked out of the room to go upstairs. He was in the shower when she followed him, and they slept apart, in silence.

~

One day went by. Then two. By the third day Rey was a bundle of nerves and energy.

“When will it happen?” She asked Ren as she walked the kitchen. He had kept mostly silent around her. “I can’t stand not knowing.”

“I know as much as you do,” he replied flatly, pouring the rest of his caf out into the sink before walking out.

But he came back earlier in the day than usual and found her on the roof.

“Come down,” he said, but his voice shook a little.

“Ren?” She slid down and landed too close to him so she stumbled back a few steps. “What is it?”

He swallowed hard and handed her his holopad, pressing play. Snoke’s image came up and his gravelly voice accompanied it.

“For your wife’s misbehavior, I have taken this situation into my own hands. If you cannot make her follow the constricts of the contract, then perhaps I shall have to limit her spirit a bit. Today at dusk, her friend Poe will be put to death. If she does not watch it happen, she will find herself much more lonely than she ever was on Jakku. I will arrive in two days.”

Rey pushed the pad back into Ren’s hands. “No, no! Gods no, not Poe!” She cried.

“It has been decided,” Ren said slowly. She grabbed onto his arm.

“Please, do something Ren, please!”

He barked out a laugh. “As if I could.”

She pushed him away and buried her head in her hands. “I have to do something, I can’t—“

“If you continue this he will just do it to FN-2187,” Ren interjected. “Don’t you understand?”

A sob escaped Rey’s lips, but she wouldn’t let herself cry. He was right.

“I understand.”

Ren held her and she stared numbly at the darkening skyline.

“Can I see him?”

Rey felt a sigh echo in Ren’s chest.

“No…I’m sorry.”

“Why?”

He stroked her hair. “You cant be trusted with a microphone, never less a prisoner.”

She didn’t reply.

“Come on,” Ren said gently. “We have to go now.”

~

Poe was strapped to a pole, hanging limply from the loop of his own arms. Rey’s heart ached and ached.

“It will be over soon,” Ren murmured. They were standing separate from the crowd, eyes on them again. Everywhere. Rey barely noticed, her eyes only on her friend. She hadn’t even told BB-8. She couldn’t.

The best pilot in the resistance. Dead because of her.

Poe’s dark head lifted and from beneath the mop of hair she saw his eye glint out at her. Shakily, he gave her a smile. A dry sob heaved itself from her throat.

“He’s—“ She tried, but couldn’t form a sentence. Ren held her hand a little tighter.

The executioner arrived, light blaster in hand. It would do the job neatly and do it fast. But Rey wouldn’t call it merciful.

A few words were said and Rey saw, from the corner of her eye, General Hux watching them. Then the pistol was raised. Rey wanted so much to turn away that her neck ached with effort to keep it forward and she trembled from head to toe.

Ren’s breath quickened and suddenly he pressed her head into his chest. “Don’t look,” he ordered just as the shot rang out. Rey let out a little cry of distress, but Ren still held her there.

“No, darling, don’t look, don’t look,” he murmured as the crowd cheered. Rey began to sob tears into his chest and he rubbed her back. She knew that again, they had disobeyed Snoke. She knew it, but she didn’t feel anything but sorrow. It leaked out of her, and she could barely keep a hold of Ren enough to stand. She felt like she was dissolving as he picked her up and carried her away from the crowd.

She caught Hux’s frown as Ren turned around.

~

Ren let her cry it all out onto his shoulder. All night long she wept. BB-8 was so confused and upset that Ren made up something just to calm him down. Even though she couldn’t say anything, she was grateful.

“Is Finn…going…to die?” She gasped between sobs. Ren hushed her and held her closer as they laid on their bed.

“No. It was my mistake, not yours. Snoke will know that.”

It didn’t stop her cries. She didn’t want Ren to be punished either.

It was strange, like a floodgate had been opened. All the hurt and fear inside her flowed out through her tears, everything she had been holding inside just escaped her. Only when she was very, very empty was she able to stop and simply stare numbly into the dark.

“He can make us do anything he wants,” she said, dazed. “He will kill Finn if I do anything.”

“Yes,” Ren said.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” she said very softly. “I’m so terrified that I’ll do something wrong and—“

“Hush, it’s alright.”

“Don’t,” she cried. “Don’t hush me. I can’t, I can’t do this without being able to talk to you. You’re the only one who I can talk to.”

“I’m sorry,” Ren soothed. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

She nodded. He brushed his lips against her forehead. She leaned her head back to find his in the dark. Her wet cheeks rubbed against his dry ones.

“Kiss me,” she mumbled. “Please, god, help me forget this.”

“You can’t,” he whispered back, kissing her all over. “It just hurts really badly right now. It will get easier.”

“But it was my fault,” she said. “Mine.”

“Don’t think like that,” Ren said quietly. You were just doing what you thought was right.”

Rey nodded and he kissed her softly.

“We just have to weather the storm,” he said quietly. “It will be alright. I won’t let anything else happen to you.”

“You don’t have any control over it,” She said.

“Trust me,” Ren said. “I won’t let you get hurt again like this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot really picks up, hm? A lot happens in this chapter, probably too much but I'm still trying to fit this into only six chapters. Pretty crazy. I feel bad because the speed goes from like a 6 to a 9, but, whatever. I hope you guys like this chapter, your comments have totally fueled the fire!!! Thanks darlings~


	6. Chapter 6

She awoke the next day curled in Ren’s arms and feeling a lot stronger. Angrier. She couldn’t let Snoke get away with this. She couldn’t blindly comply. It wasn’t right, and the Force beckoned to her. She hadn’t used it, really used it in a while. No wonder she had felt so powerless. She had been stripped of herself, and now she was hollow. She wasn’t hungry, but the hollowness reminded her of how she had felt on Jakku. Like she had control over herself again.

“You feel like a storm,” Ren suddenly said, and she stiffened.

“I’m thinking,” she said quietly, and he nodded against the top of her head.

“Snoke will be here soon,” he said, and she frowned. She needed more time, more resources.

“I don’t want to see him.”

He stroked her hair. “I know.”

She sat partly up to look at him. “I mean it. It’ll be much worse if I see him.”

Ren’s eyes were dark and serious. “I’ll do what I can.”

She laid her head back down. Ren couldn’t know what she wanted, what she planned. He’d try and stop her. He stayed with her in silence until a trooper banged on the door, announcing that Snoke was due to arrive. She watched him put on his clothes and gave her cheek a caress before leaving.

She waited, listening to his boots walk away. The she got up and dressed fast in a plain tunic, belt, and leggings. She had a plan to try and contact Leia through meditation—surely the General had something up her sleeve, or at least some advice. Rey wasn’t sure it would work, but maybe, just maybe it would.

She had just laced up her boots when Ren burst through the door, his eyes wild.

“Ren!”

“Rey,” he uttered. “You have to come.”

She darted away for his reaching hand, clutching the bedpost. “No!”

Ren took ahold of her chin, and she tried to twist away but he held firm.

“Listen to me,” he said raggedly. “He demands to see you. There is no other option.”

She searched his lined face and asked, “Did he hurt you?”

He let go of her chin, but she grabbed his shoulders. “Did he hurt you?”

“Rey,” he said darkly. “He can do much worse things than just harm my body.”

She saw fear in his eyes and reached out with the force to try and understand. But he shrank back, and when he tugged her forward again she let him.

He led her to the largest room in the house that had high ceilings and a dark presence. Like the scent of tar, it clung to the air and made it feel heavier. Ren clutched at her arm and looked at her for a long moment before pushing open the door.

Rey breathed faster than normal, her palms sweaty on Ren’s arm as her eyes took in the room before her.

He was skeletal; pale and hairless, his flesh pitted and gaping. In his dark eye sockets gleamed two stony, gleaming orbs that watched her every step. She was cold, stumbling forward due to Ren’s pull even though her legs wouldn’t move all of a sudden.

“Master, Master I’ve brought her,” Ren said with an edge of desperation. He looked up at the large creature with an expression Rey had never seen—like he was begging.

The creature’s face contorted into what Rey guessed could be a smile.

“Finally, the little Jedi.”

Its voice was a rasping growl even in amusement. Ren’s grasp on her arm became less severe, slipping down to her hand. Rey let go of him with her free hand and tried to stand up straight. She couldn’t be afraid.

“Come here, child.”

Rey sucked in a breath and Ren crushed her hand.

“Emperor, she—“

“SILENCE!”

Ren’s voice died and Rey found she was holding her breath. A gaunt hand beckoned her forward and Rey let go of Ren’s hand.

Once she walked a few steps, she stopped. A hand that could have encompassed her own head reached forward. Instinctively, she leaned away, but still the rough pads of his fingers touched her. Behind her, Ren’s emotions spiked.

A chill ran down her back and she felt faint as a painful, almost electrical charge ran through her body.

“Hmm.”

The hand and the feeling went away and Ren was drawing her back.

“So defiant,” Snoke said. Rey heard Ren swallow.

“You have so much wasted potential,” Snoke scolded.

“It’s not wasted,” Rey managed, quieter than she meant.

The eyes pierced her again.

“Kylo Ren?”

“Yes, Master?”

“You have indeed consummated the marriage. But she is not yet pregnant.”

Rey’s entire body tensed and her face flushed. How could he know that? She felt invaded and somehow ashamed. Ren placed his hand on her back and she tried to calm herself.

“It has not been very long, Master,” Ren said quietly. “She will be with child soon.”

Rey felt disgusted and brushed Ren’s arm away. “Don’t talk about me like this. You can’t…You can’t force a pregnancy.”

The thought of getting pregnant made her feel nauseous. Not because she didn’t like babies, but because she couldn’t imagine having a child in this place, with this _creature_ having a say about it.

Ren didn’t respond, only looked at her. A nasty chuckle came from Snoke.

“You would do anything to defy this. I have seen a child; a vision of what will come.” He leaned forward, eager. “You will create quite a worthy child, and I will raise it to become the perfect heir.

Ren’s head snapped up, and his pale cheeks looked even less colored than usual.

“You would take the child?”

Cruel eyes cast a knowing look onto his apprentice.

“You can’t control yourself, your wife…You would ruin the child before it was able to walk. Do you not trust in my judgement?”

There was a moment, and Rey saw a flicker of emotion in his eyes. But his head bowed, and he mumbled, “No, master.”

Aghast, she looked from Ren to Snoke. “This is ridiculous. I can’t—“

“Hush,” Snoke said. “You will become pregnant within this next month, or another one of your little friends will be eradicated.”

“What?” Rey’s mouth hung open. She looked at Ren, whose shock was evident. “No! You can’t, I—“

“Master, please, we have no control over—“

“I don’t care what you have to do, you will make this child.” Snoke interjected angrily. “You are dismissed.”

“You monster,” Rey said, trembling. She lunged forward, wanting to scratch her nails down his face, pop out those horrible eyes, but Ren caught her by the waist and held her back.

“Rey, Rey come,” Ren said.

“No! No!” She cried, reaching, reaching for that terrible thing. “No! You won’t do this!”

His eyes glittered, and Rey fought against Ren’s arms. But the doors shut.

Rey clawed at her husband, twisted and threw herself against his grasp. But he was strong, and she couldn’t gather herself enough to use the Force. Ren wrestled with her until they were far enough away that he let her go.

“How could you!” She screamed. “How could you do this?” How could he just stand there and let this happen?

Ren’s jaw was tight and his eyes were crazed. “I know, Rey, I know.”

She pushed against him, again and again until he had her arms in his fists.

“I hate you, I hate you, I hate you,” She cried, collapsing onto him. He clasped her to his chest, cradled her there.

“I didn’t know, I didn’t,” he swore.

Rey pressed her wet eyes into his shirt. “I can’t do this,” she said. “I can’t live like this.”

Ren’s hands moved up and down her back, too fast to be truly comforting.

“We don’t have a choice…He’s made up his mind.”

Rey looked up at him, her nails digging into his shirt. “Tell me you aren’t going to go along with this. Tell me you know this is wrong.”

He said nothing, his face contorted and almost confused. His eyes were shadowed and she tightened her grip on his shirt.

“I won’t do this,” she whispered. “I would rather die than live like this. I’ll die trying to get out of here.”

His hands closed in on her shoulders. “ _Don’t leave,”_ he said desperately.

His full lips trembled, his eyes pleaded with her. She let her hand cup his cheek, let a little of the old feeling thread through her anger. She cared for him. He cared for her.

“I can’t do this alone,” she finally said. “I’ve always found a way to do things myself or I’ve gone without. For once, I don’t want to be alone. You feel like someone I can trust, and I need you. So please, please, please…help me stop this.”

Ren was tormented. He tried to look away, tried to hide the shine of tears in his eyes. In Rey’s heart, she knew he was the one who was just like her—he needed her like she did him. He wouldn’t judge her for needing him, for having an endless hole that ached.

She held her ground, waiting, and finally his forehead tipped against hers and he let out a shuddered breath.

“He would take our child,” he murmured. Rey bit her lip and closed her eyes, nodding a little. “You could never be happy here,” he said.

Rey looked him deep in the eyes and threaded her hands through his hair. “ _You_ could never be happy here. You’ve never been happy here. He’s been using you, Ren. He would use you to get a baby. You know this.”

He nodded, and a tear slipped down his cheek.

“I’m afraid,” he finally said. “I don’t want to lose you. If this is all gone, would you still be with me? A monster? A killer?”

She squeezed him around his neck and nodded against his neck. “Yes, yes.”

He pressed a kiss to her cheek and held her close, their joined bodies rocking back and forth. The tension in Rey’s chest bloomed out and faded. _Safe._

Muffled, she asked, “What are we going to do?”

He sighed and they parted, but his hand lingered on her waist.

“There’s no simple solution to this,” he said, rubbing his temple. “We have to discuss this elsewhere.” He looked around and pulled her upstairs to their bedroom. BB-8 rolled out to greet them hesitantly, and Rey knelt down and placed her hands on the droid.

“We are getting out of here. Ren’s going to help us.”

BB-8 beeped excitedly, lighting up and rolling back and forth. He rolled over to Ren and bumped against his leg in a friendly way, beeping a hello.

Ren looked at Rey helplessly.

“He said hello. And thanks.”

Ren swallowed, his adam’s apple bobbing. “Hello…droid.”

“BB-8,” she corrected.

“BB-8,” he repeated awkwardly.

“How do we do this?’ Rey asked. “I thought about trying to reach Leia.”

Ren looked tired at the mention of his mother. “Of course she would have some control, even in exile,” he sighed.

Rey tilted her head at him and BB-8 mimicked her.

_“What about Poe and Finn?”_

Rey swallowed. “Don’t worry,” she said tightly, avoiding his lens. “We won’t forget anyone.”

Ren looked at her with pity, and she looked away. He brushed his fingers against her arm to comfort, and she exhaled a deep breath.

“I’ll contact her,” Ren said. “It’s easier if connected by blood. Meanwhile, I need you to take this key down to the room furthest from the front door to the right and open the wall vault in there. Your lightsaber is there.”

He handed her a metallic square and she curled her fingers around it.

“BB-8, you come with me in case I need a diversion.”

Ren’s dark eyes flickered over her for a moment before he turned away.

“Be careful.”

~

The halls were dark and quiet in a way they hadn’t been before. Deathly quiet. BB-8 rolled quietly along Rey’s boots as they made their way to the farthest room in the front of the house. Rey knew it was a little silly, feeling like she had to sneak around in her own house, but with Snoke here, it wasn’t really her home anymore.

She found the wall vault and opened it easily. And there lay her lightsaber, the one Maz and then Luke had placed into her hands. _It calls to you,_ they both said.

It felt right, smooth and cool in her hand again.

She was strong, she was part of the Force. A surge of energy went through her and she felt alive.

_“We can trust him, right?”_

Rey looked down, startled at BB-8’s sounds.

“Yes, I swear.”

BB-8 cocked his head at her. _“Something is different.”_

Rey gave a half smile to the little droid. “Everything is different. War…it changes you. But sometimes other things do even more.”

BB-8 beeped his confusion, but Rey just shrugged. She didn’t quite understand it as well.

They slipped back into the bedroom, but Ren wasn’t there. He was on the balcony, sitting in a meditative position with his eyes closed, so Rey didn’t bother him. She instead paced, and then sat on the bed. BB-8 rolled in patterns and numbers and Rey guessed what they were. But she was nervous, full of energy.

An hour went by, slowly, and when he finally moved he seemed wrung through, as if someone had struck him all over.

“Ren?”

He sat down on the bed. “My mother sends her regards.”

“So you made contact!”

He nodded. “She was very surprised to hear from me. She thought…she thought I would be quite satisfied with the way things are, with you being here. She said that she thought I had finally won and gotten what I wanted.”

Rey laid a slim hand on him. “She doesn’t know you.”

“No, she doesn’t But I suppose that’s my fault.”

“Yes.”

Ren sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “She didn’t want to give me any information. She claimed that she had nothing up her sleeve, but finally I convinced her and she told me the truth. They’ve got some aircraft hidden away on Hoth, and about 100 soldiers there. Not much, but it’s something.”

Rey was so relieved. “But what will we do with them? It’s almost nothing compared to the First Order. And what about Snoke?”

“He needs…” Ren hesitated. “He needs to die. Hux too. That will leave me in charge. If we can get the soldiers here, hopefully we can storm the capital building here on Corusant and gain control of the First Order armies and get them to desist. Then we can hand it over to the rebels. My part will be done.”

He sighed. “Hopefully it will be enough to keep me from being executed.”

She laid her head on his shoulder. “That won’t happen.”

“We’ll see.”

“So Snoke and Hux are our job then, hm?”

Ren nodded and gave her a serious look, lifting her head off his shoulder to look at her straight.

“Hux won’t be too hard once you get past his body guards. If you can take care of him, then I can focus on taking down Snoke.”

Her brow furrowed. “You can’t take him down yourself!”

He looked past her. “I have to. He’s my master.”

She grabbed his arm. “Don’t pull this silly crap. He’s very powerful. Just being in his presence…you’ll need my help.”

When he didn’t answer, she turned his chin towards her. “It’s time for you to trust me.”

A beat passed with his eyes narrowed on hers, but then he nodded. “You’ll have to join me after Hux. We must attack simultaneously, so neither suspects.”

She frowned, not caring for this plan, but accepted it.

“Alright. You’ll send word to Leia then of the plan? Will they be able to get here?”

“Yes, if we stage it tomorrow.”

She let out a breath. “Then let this be our last night in this hell.”

He looked thoughtful, his gaze down. “I’ve known nothing else for many years. What will it be like, afterward?”

She laid down, pulling him with her. Her hands went to stroke his dark, thick hair.

“We’ll have our own place, far from the rest,” she whispered. “Somewhere warm.”

“Warm?”

“Mmhm. You and I won’t have to be anything, won’t have to do anything. Just quiet.”

“Sounds nice. But where will you cause havoc?”

She hit the side of his head with a wack.

“I’ll have enough fun living with you and your cold feet.”

He gave a little laugh, and then fell quiet.

“Tell me more.”

So she spun a castle in the air for them of their future; of their home, of a place where they could finally find some peace. Ren fell asleep long before she did, his boots still on. She could barely close her eyes though, heart fluttering against her ribs as if it too was ready to fly away.

She’d thought this place, this life would be her sentence forever. But now the world was in her palm. She could do anything with this man, this loyal, dark man who held her so fiercely through the night.

Tomorrow she could breathe again. Tomorrow she could be someone more than just a scavenger or a soldier. Tomorrow was a beginning of her real life.

~

If only it had gone according to plan. She would never forget the moment it had slipped through her fingers. Never forget his face, that smile. His shaking fingers against her skin.

It had begun fine, all the pieces in position. He dressed all in black, just like he always did. But there was a softness in his face that made him unrecognizable. She handed him his lightsaber and he sighed like a heavy weight had descended on him.

“Weapon of a murderer,” Rey said, scanning his face. “Doesn’t quite fit you anymore.”

He shrugged, his dark eyes hard. “One good act doesn’t erase the past.”

She sighed and wound her arms around him, resting her head on his chest. “Nothing will. But you’ll find it will be different, with time.”

Within the hour she was headed towards the middle of the city, where Hux waited. She’d have to be stealthy, he would be well protected. The thought of killing him made her feel sick, but she tried to push it back. He was a horrible man. Leia had told her of his atrocities more than once. It was his stormtrooper system that stole millions of children from their families. It was his orders that fired Starkiller. As Rey stepped into the building, she felt steadied. He must die.

It hadn’t been too hard. She was no expert, but over the years she had become quite deft at being soft footed and cloaking herself with the Force; slipping into the shadows. But she came to a door which was heavily guarded, and she closed her eyes behind a column and searched. She felt him, like a snake; always poised, always ready to strike or run. A desert snake, blending into the sand, she decided.

She stepped out and immediately was noticed.

“Hey! You there!” One shouted, and she ran. Once they came to a curve, she used a rather large jump to grab onto a bar of the ceiling and hung there until the guards passed. That left one guard left at Hux’s door, and she dropped right in front of him.

“You will open the door and return to your quarters,” she said firmly, with a careful wave of her hand. There was a moment of hesitation.

“I will open the door and return to my quarters,” the trooper replied. Rey’s face broke into a large grin, because she still couldn’t believe she could do that so well. Some things did not come so easily.

The door beeped, signaling its lock being released, and finally she entered. The red haired man was sitting at his desk, his head tipped down while he focused on a large pad.

“What is it?” He asked, annoyed. When she didn’t answer, he glanced up and his gaze narrowed. His hand went under his desk and Rey went rigid, realizing that he probably summoned troopers.

“Ren let you out of your cage?” He asked dryly. “Or did you escape?”

“This was his idea,” Rey said, lighting her saber. Hux leaned back, but otherwise his expression didn’t change.

“Of course it was,” he replied sardonically. “He’s always detested me.”

Rey stepped forward. “This is no petty revenge. You deserve death for what you’ve done. The lives you’ve destroyed.”

A horrid little smile snuck onto the man’s thin lips. “So moral, as you bend over for a man who made his name killing children.”

She felt a hot rush of shame and launched herself forward just as troopers burst through the door. Blasters shot through the air but she dodged them, and with an easy, single swipe, Hux’s head rolled to the floor.

He had tried to avoid her swing, but she had been faster. She cast a glance at the carnage before her and realized he was just a man in the end. Her heart beat fast in her ears, and she steeled herself for a moment. But there were troopers all around her, shooting, and she had to get out now.

Behind the desk there were large glass windows, and she quickly wrapped her fist and then punched the glass through. It shattered, the sound ringing through the air. She waited for a passing pod, took a breath, and then jumped.

She just barely caught it. She managed to have a firm grip on the seat, and thanked the Force for letting her survive. The woman driving the pod shrieked, and Rey quickly pulled herself into the driver’s seat.

“Sorry,” she said shortly as the woman clutched her bag. “New Empire business.”

As the woman bemoaned her loss of her convertible, Rey drove straight to the house. There were flames, and the woman beside her began to plead Rey to stop.

Rey didn’t blame her. Whether the woman sensed it or not, there was a great deal of darkness coming from the house. The flames, flickering up and down as fast as her heartbeat, were only beginning to consume the house.

She jumped out and ran inside, finding it devoid of the troopers. There was shouting and crackling as the place was devoured, and she began to sweat as she ran through the glossy dark halls, the flames reflection dancing across the marble.

She burst into the room and felt a huge burst of heat roll over her. When she opened her eyes, she saw them: Snoke, large and standing straight, and Ren, bowed and clutching his saber. With a shock, Rey realized that it wasn’t only Snoke whose Force exhuded darkness.

“Ren!” She cried, but he didn’t turn to look at her. She drew her saber as Snoke turned his eye on her. His hand raised, and she felt herself begin to rise.

“Your little toy has come to play,” Snoke cackled. “What will you do now, Kylo Ren?”

Ren turned, arm thrust out, and Rey slammed out of Snoke’s invisible grip against the wall. As her head spun, she heard him say, “She’s nothing.”

“How I wish that were so,” Snoke said somberly. Ren rushed at him, but Snoke dissuaded him with pieces of rubble. Rey pushed herself up and ran to Ren’s side when he was knocked down, but he shoved her away.

“Go,” he grit out. She glared at him, even though he did not meet her eyes.

“No,” She said. “We can do this together.”

His jaw tightened and he rushed forward. She followed him, and found herself apt at dodging the large pieces of concrete and metal Snoke threw. She reached him and tried to get a few swipes in, which he was forced to manually dodge, giving Ren the chance to rush in as well.

But they were pushed back with a mighty swipe of the Force. Both popped up, and as sweat ran into Rey’s eyes she began again. They both got closer and closer, almost hitting him once or twice before being pushed back again.

“Ren,” she shouted as wood began to fall from the ceiling as flames overtook the upper level. His look darkened, and he rushed forward again.

But Snoke had tired of the game. As soon as Ren and Rey drew close, there was a crackle and the air stung. Green shoots of lightening shimmered off his fingers, and with that hand he pointed it straight for Rey.

She inhaled, drawing back—but not fast enough—and braced herself. But just as the torturous pain hit her, it was gone.

Instead, it had been intercepted by Ren, who had thrown himself into the path. Rey’s head spun as the brief effects of the lightening dissipated, and Ren, who had been brought to his knees, howled with pain and doubled over.

“Ren!’ She cried, wetness on her cheeks. He did not respond, and she panicked, trying to find the saber she had dropped after being hit. It was gone, so she made a decision and grabbed Ren’s.

It was heavy, and when it was on she struggled to simply keep it straight. It seemed to want to veer left and right, like it was alive. She gripped the thick helm and swung it once for practice. She saw Snoke’s hand raise, and she knew she didn’t have much time. She ran the few steps, almost falling, and swung hard at Snoke’s neck. He tried to dodge, but it caught the back half and his head tilted forward, the gaping gash making it hang unnaturally.

His glassy eyes turned to Rey, their blackness liquid and terrifying. The lightening had stopped, but he stumbled, then held up his hand towards her. She took a step back, and then all there was was pain.

She heard a distant shout, and she felt herself wilting to the floor as her nerves were set on fire.

“Ren!” She tried to scream, thinking of him, somewhere on the floor as well. But then the pain was ebbing away, and as she gasped for breath she scrambled to sit up.

Her vision focused and then Ren was there. Panting, his pale face splashed with his master’s blood, he stood over the man’s lifeless body. Ren’s unstable weapon was thrust through the monster’s chest, and there was an endless, void stare in Snoke’s dead eyes.

“Ren,” She breathed, and he looked at her. There was a terrible hunger all over his features, and in the firelight his eyes gleamed in a way that made her stomach drop. A little smile played on his lips, and she took a swift breath in as he stared at her, silent.

But then something snapped, and his entire face fell. He let go of the saber, which deactivated and fell. She shakily stood and ran to him, straight into his arms, which trembled as he held her.

“You’re alright?” he asked, voice muffled. She nodded, breathless, and she pulled back.

“We have to go,” she said, pulling at him. As they began to leave, she spotted her saber and grabbed it. She glanced back to see if Ren grabbed his, but he was following her close, pressing her forward.

They ran out through the smoke, just barely dodging the collapsing doorframe. They stumbled into the street, coughing. Rey looked up and saw smoke from the building she had just left, as well as a small sea of planes diving in above them.

“Look,” she said, completely awed. “They came.”

Ren coughed and smeared his red lips with black ashes from his sleeve. “The general always delivers,” he said flatly, but Rey could have collapsed with relief.

A squeal came from the side of the building opposite the house, and a dirty Bb-8 rolled out. Rey fell to her knees and wrapped her arms around the droid, giving a sob of joy.

“There you are,” she said. “Oh, thank god you made it out of the fire.”

 _“He sent me out,_ ” BB-8 chirped, nodding his head towards Ren’s dark figure.

“Of course he did,” Rey murmured, gazing at the man before her with a strange ache in her chest. She stood and went to him.

“Come on,” she said, grabbing his wrist as she headed straight for the fray. “We aren’t done yet.”

~

They were successful. The New Empire fell within Coruscant, the rebellious underground of the capital city rising up unexpectedly and providing aid for the pilots and soldiers. Leia had even stepped in amongst the fighting, unafraid and ready to lead. When she found Rey and Ren among the wounded soldiers, she thanked them. Ren turned away on his narrow cot, coughing as silently as he could, but Rey took the woman’s hand.

“Thank you,” she replied. “I never thought we could pull it off.”

Leia shook her head. “I should say that to you. To kill Snoke, and General Hux…”

Rey tightened her grip. “It was Ren. He killed Snoke.”

Leia’s eyes shone as she looked over at her son’s back. There was a pause, and Rey though she saw tears in her eyes.

“We are very grateful,” Leia said quietly, her eyes still on her son.

She left, and the two were separated. Rey had a nasty burn on her shoulder, and Ren had some nerve damage due to the long period of lightening he’d suffered. She was done faster than he was, but wasn’t able to find him.

Instead, she found Finn, who had been freed but was still wearing his prison garb.

“Rey!” He shouted, spotting her across the crowd. He enveloped her in a huge hug, one she relished for it’s warmth and comfort. He was alright. Finn was here, alive.

“I’m sorry,” she managed, tears welling up in her eyes. “Poe—“

“Stop,” Finn interrupted, his voice thick. “He wasn’t angry. He was only afraid for you, Rey. And for me. He’d not want you to blame yourself.”

She shook her head, wiping away the tears slipping from her eyes. “I can’t stop feeling this way. I dreamt about it…It was my fault.”

Finn took a hold of his shoulders. “He laughed when he heard what you did. He said he would have done the same thing.”

“Not at someone else’s expense,” she whispered.

“Hey,” Finn said, staring straight into her eyes. “You can’t go back now. We just have to keep going forward.”

She nodded, pressing her lips together. She knew very well of someone else who was feeling the way she did.

~

She found him the next morning, tucked away in the corner of the large room they had been using as a med bay. He didn’t move when he caught her eyes, but he didn’t look elsewhere as she approached. His expression was cold and indifferent, and it made her hesitate before him.

“Hi,” she said.

“Hello.”

She swallowed. “Are you healed?”

He shrugged. “Takes time. Mostly, though.” His eyes stuck onto her shoulder, which was properly bandaged and barely covered by a small strap of her shirt.

“I’m almost healed too. Just a burn. Nothing bacta couldn’t fix.” It hadn’t been like the long, jagged scar on his face. Lightsaber burns were worse than any burn fire could inflict.

She thought she’d seen his eyes soften, but when he met her gaze again they were hard.

“What are doing her?” he asked, and she frowned and looked down.

“I wanted to know what you were going to do,” She asked. “I didn’t think you’d stay here and help with the resistance.”

He scoffed. “And wait for them to execute me for my crimes? No.”

She pressed her lips firmly together and her gaze traveled back up to his face. “So? What will you do?”

She felt a small stab of pain that startled her, and before she realized that it hadn’t come from her he spoke.

“Going to the Outer Rim. Need a new crystal now that I don’t have a saber.”

She smiled a little. “Maybe one not cracked?”

He didn’t smile, or say anything. She tilted her head at him and said, “That’s good. I think it’s time I have a saber of my own, so I’ll need a crystal too.”

The look of shock on his face would have been funny if this was a different situation. He struggled to regain composure. “Like you’d leave the resistance.”

She took a step closer. “I’m more of a battle girl, and they don’t really need anyone on the front lines anymore. Political stuff now.”

He shook his head and crossed his arms, looking away. She stepped even closer and laid a hand on his arm. “Are you telling me I can’t go with you?”

His gaze was unfamiliar now, full of fear. “You don’t want to do this,” he rumbled. “You have friends here. A life. Not exile.”

She pushed on his solid arm, wrapping it around her instead. “We’re married,” she said quietly as she laid her head on his chest. “I want to be with you as you sort things out. I know you’re conflicted.”

He was silent, but he rested his head on hers. “I didn’t think you’d want this anymore,” he confessed.

“I was a little surprised too. But I think I love a man who steps in front of lightening for me.”

He pulled back, staring at her incredously, then intently. “What did you say?”

She sighed and her cheeks began to warm. She forced herself to look into his eyes. “I love you,” she repeated, and he took a breath and swallowed.

His head tipped forward and rested against hers, their noses almost touching. “I love you too,” he said softly. She smiled, and pressed their lips together in a long, sweet kiss that made her ache for privacy, and a bed.

“Let’s find us a ship then,” she said, pulling back and grabbing his hand. He ran a hand through his hair, and then his lips broke into a smile, a big one that Rey had never seen.

“Whatever you say, Mrs. Solo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH I've finally ended it! This could have been split into two chapters, but I honestly forgot and just made it one. Ah, well. Now I can work on my other fic...or maybe start a new one...who can say? I've had my eye on a medieval AU for a while now... let me know what you guys think of this! Y'all rock.


	7. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, alright! You guys wanted an epilogue and as soon as I heard it I could see it in my mind. I won't lie, I love domestic Reylo, so I just blurt this out onto the page this afternoon. I know it's quite fluffy, forgive my feels. Hope you all like it, kisses to all of you!

“Ren, come here and look at this.”

Ren appeared in the doorway from their bedroom, no longer such a dark figure, instead outfitted in tan garments that made him less pallid. He walked up behind her and peered at the plant by the window sill she pointed to.

“What?”

With a _look,_ she pointed to the large purple flower growing out its side. It let off a lovely, light perfume that she greedily inhaled.

“Oh. It’s pretty.”

She turned around and crossed her arm, leaning against the sill. “It only blooms once a year, when the weather gets warm. This is it’s time!”

He smiled a little, the way he always did when she was happy over something. “We are lucky, then. We should celebrate.”

He drew her near and began mouthing at her neck, and she laughed and pushed him away. “Quit. I’ve got loads to do.”

He cocked an eyebrow at her and pointed to himself with a sardonic smile she knew well. She laughed again and kissed him briefly before slipping away to continue pruning her little inside garden.

A year and a half ago they had retreated to a small cottage on Naboo. The New Empire had indeed fallen after a year long struggle for power. But it had finally had its last gasp, and the resistance—now the People’s Republic—had taken control. Leia, who stepped down from spearheading, had again become a senator. Finn had also found his own place with a lovely woman named Freela. Rey missed Finn a lot, and made many calls over their ship to him every week. Leia visited them often now that things settled down despite Ren’s distance—but Rey sensed him warming. It wasn’t really resentment towards Leia, but guilt and anger he felt at himself. He took many long walks when she came to visit.

Rey enjoyed their peaceful life. It held the predictability she had on Jakku without the constant struggle against the storms and starvation. Even in the winter, Ren consistently filled their cupboards without a word.

They walked to the nearby town a couple times every week, often to rent holos and for Rey to find little things to fill their home. Thick rugs, pretty curtains, little decorated boxes to keep treasures in. Ren seemed to have no preference when it came to this, content with what she liked. But every once in a while he found something he found irresistible—dark, luxurious sheets, a tall, ornate clock, a set of old-fashioned books with gilded edges. He placed these things around their bright, cozy home with a meticulous eye until it reached his satisfaction.

He had eased into being a different man. Gone were the violent outbursts, although he still had a stubborn temper equal to hers. Instead he was quieter now, watching and caring for her in his own ways. His cheeks had a healthy flush now, and his skin darkened slightly to a real color instead of the white. He cooked since Rey had no practice with real food, trying to teach her every once in a while. He constantly trained in a clearing not far from home, read holo after holo, and built things out of the wood he chopped, most often for Rey. He made their table, chucking the metal one, shelves for the knick knacks she began to collect, and currently worked on a bed frame. She watched him as he often watched her work on her ship—a gift from Leia.

“Don’t you like the things we have?” she once asked him. He shrugged.

“The metal is a lot like the kind I had in the First Order. And I know you like wood.”

The sterile, cold furniture was slowly pushed from their home, and she loved him for it.

At night he draped extra blankets over her when she was cold and held her very close. She always laid in bed as long as he did, cuddling for an hour after waking if he so yearned. On his dark days, she kissed him and stayed in bed with him until he was able to tear himself away from his deep well of regret and sorrow. She touched him, stroking his back and kissing his chest the way she knew he ached for. When they made love, they almost always held each other impossibly close, unwilling to part for even a second.

She loved him. She loved the way they sat in comfortable silence, and then long, debated conversations which ended in laughter and sarcasm. She loved the way he always touched her, briefly placing his hand on her waist or brushing her hair back. She hadn’t known how much she wanted the sweet affection that was somehow so intimate. She loved their passionate sparring and the long dips in a wide creek afterwards to wash away the sweat. She loved his serious brow and low voice, and the whispers he spoke only in the dark of their bedroom that warmed her head to toe.

She thought of this as she worked in her little garden, weeding away the stubborn grasses. Ren avoided the garden, getting frustrated with the weeds and back aches and bugs. When she made him look at the fruits of her labor he hummed appreciatively and then retreated back into his work shed.

She stood and went to their pump to wash the dirt of her hands, pausing to squeeze the warm dirt between her toes. She heard him in their kitchen, most likely preparing a late lunch. Her heart felt very full as she thought of him making their food with the same gentle care he touched her with.

She padded inside and he glanced up at her as she stood in the kitchen.

“I think the water pipe to the refresher had rusted again. I think I’ll have to replace it after lunch, if you want to help.”

She didn’t answer, just went behind him and wrapped her arms around his broad body. He stiffened and then relaxed.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, putting down his knife and twisting around to hold her properly.

She pulled him down for a long, suggestive kiss.

“Aren’t you hungry, love?” he asked lowly, stroking her cheek with her thumb. She was, but she didn’t care and shook her head.

He kissed her deeply until she slid her hands under his shirt, feeling the little dips of scar tissue among the form muscle of his stomach. He broke the kiss then, eyebrow raised.

She gazed at him, and his lips broke into a smile. He picked her up and she let out a squeal of protest.

“Not in the kitchen again, I’ve got food out,” he muttered, carrying her into the bedroom. He threw her onto the sheets and was on top of her, tugging off his shirt in the process.

She ran her hands up his chest with a sigh as he hurried with her leggings, pulling them down and off her legs. He kissed her calf and then her thigh before dragging her down the bed to him so he could pull her shirt off.

She sat up in his lap and kissed him, hard. His large hands stroked her sides and slid beneath her breast band, causing it to slide down her stomach. He broke the kiss to latch onto her breast, and she moaned. He moved up to her neck and she ground against him, causing him to hiss and pull away from her.

“Minx,” he breathed as she began undoing the buttons of his pants. He was already straining against them, the large outline of his cock fighting against the material. She palmed him, squeezing lightly just to tease him. He rewarded her with a groan and a push back against the bed. He knelt before her as he tugged down his underwear and pants, finally bare before her.

She went to strip herself of her own underwear, but he stopped her, instead opting to kiss down her stomach and peel them off her himself. Throwing the small piece of fabric away, he latched onto her core, running his tongue up and down her, humming as she gave a loud, headless moan.

“Oh, Ren,” she said, and felt him smile against her. He wouldn’t let up, plunging two fingers inside her as a tease, because she longed for him and the fingers were a pale comparison. But soon enough she was thrusting her hips forward and coming with a loud cry, stars littered across her vision.

She saw he was pleased as he made his way back up to her. She ran a hand through his dark hair and he kissed her deeply. His member dragged across her center as she threw her legs around his hips, opening to him eagerly. But he was a tease, and only ground against her.

“What do you want?” He whispered when she growled at him. She didn’t answer, only trying to thrust up against him.

“Tell me, love,” he whispered again.

“You,” she mumbled, tightening her arms around him. “I want you.”

He sighed and slid inside her and her hips bucked up to take him even deeper within. She was full, so full and yet the ache still persisted. He began to move slowly, back and forth.

“I love you,” he told her, and she kissed him.

“I love you too,” she said.

They rocked together in tandem, the rhythm familiar. She dug her fingernails into his back and urged him on, which he did with fervor. The back of their bedframe began to hit the wall again and again with each of his thrusts, and Rey tightened around him at the sound.

“God, you’re so good,” she said. “There, Ren, there.”

He plunged faster and harder, just as he knew she liked. She began to suck at his neck, and he groaned loudly into her ear.

“Perfect, darling, Rey,” he panted. “Come, sweetheart, come.”

She whimpered and he nudged her legs up higher in order to go deeper. She was climbing so fast she could barely breathe. She began to chant his name until finally she yelled it, trembling as she came around him. With two more deep, hard thrusts he was there, burying his face into her shoulder.

They breathed together there, dreading the inevitable parting. When he did roll off her he took her with him so that she covered him with her body, laying her head on his chest.

His fingers drifted up and down her spine. “What brought that on?” he asked curiously.

She hummed and shrugged. “Maybe I just love you.”

He chuckled. “I am still surprised every time you say it.”

She lifted her head to look at him. “Truly?”

His hand smoothed over her bottom. “Yes. I never dreamed…” His eyes took on a far away look and she laid her head back down on his chest.

“Ren,” she started hesitantly. “Do you…do you ever think about having children?”

His hand froze and there was a long pause.

“No, not really,” he said carefully. "Not since...you know."

She frowned a little. “Oh.” She hadn't wanted any child then. Not with Snoke waiting, not in that house. But everything was different now. She knew she loved Ren, and she knew he loved her. They had a home she loved, and they were safe. She had always wanted a family, a real family.

He sat up, tugging her with him so he could look at her. “You want children?”

She shrugged. Her eyes drifted away, but his hand on her cheek turned her face back to look at him. “You’d want to have children with me? Children who could grow up and be just like me, and like my grandfather?”

“Everyone is drawn to the dark side,” she murmured. “We’d raise them properly. We don’t fight so often, and neither of us are going anywhere. Don’t you want a family?”

“You are my family,” he said soberly. “I don’t need anyone else.”

“Ok,” she said, shrugging. She tried to lay her head on his shoulder to comfort the prick at her heart, but he would let her, instead placing his hands at the sides of her face to cradle it.

“You want children,” he stated, dark eyes very serious. She hesitated, then nodded.

“Dark haired children with big ears and serious eyes,” she said quietly. “Children who will want to help you cook and play in the clearing. Children who we can love and show the ways of the Force, the way of balance.”

His eyes took on a tenderness that always squeezed at her heart. “You’re wrong,” he replied. “They’d have big, hazel eyes and wavy brown hair.”

She smiled. “They’d trample the garden and muss up the beds and play in the sawdust of your workshop.”

He stroked her hair. “They’d bother us day and night and wander off into the woods and clutter the place with toys and rocks and who knows what else.”

Her chest was tight and she only nodded. He leaned his forehead against hers. “I’d have to build on another bedroom,” he said. “You’d have to get your implant removed.”

“Would you really want it?” She asked.

“Yes,” he replied. “I’d be afraid, but I know you could keep me steady. You always do.”

She smiled and stroked his cheek. “We are having a baby, then?”

He smiled back. “We are having a baby.”

She threw her arms around him and held him tight. “Let’s go right now to town and get the implant removed.”

He laughed loudly and kissed the side of her head. “Let’s eat lunch first so we can have energy to make a baby.”

Her mind was spinning. Wait until she told Leia! She wondered if she could persuade her to come and find a home here on Naboo. Surely she’d want to see her grandchild often. She could make Finn and Freela the godparents, and paint the baby’s room a bright yellow. BB-8, who stayed with Leia, would love to roll around with a child. She felt like bursting, thinking about it all.

She kissed Ren and kissed him until she was short of breath. “I’m so happy,” she whispered to him, gazing into his eyes. “I love you.”

He placed a very soft kiss on her lips. “I love you too.”


End file.
